This morning, as I was getting the girls in the car for school, I kept thinking about how quickly this time passes. All this time when my girls are little.
Some days I wish it away and just want them to be self sufficient. Other days I want them to be little forever. Every mom has their moments and it's so hard to just live IN the moment, ya feel me?
But this morning, Makayla climbed in the car and she just looked so. little. I lingered a little bit longer and stared at her teeny tiny feet dangling from her car seat. Sure she just turned seven and oh my gosh, how did that happen and why all the growing?, but also she is just so dang tiny!
And this morning I just relished in that. Seven is, like, way too old for me, y'all. It means she's really growing up and I just can't cope with that. At least at this very moment in time. But you know, I go back to the ugh, just grow up already! side way too fast.
I'm a big emotional mess. I love my girls growing up because they are SO fun and funny and sweet and seeing how Makayla loves her sisters just slays me in every way possible. And then I hate my girls growing up because they are becoming independent and Addison understands, like, everything I say to her and when did that happen?!
It's a confusing time for me. I have literally loved every stage my girls have been in...even the one year long Makayla crying and not sleeping stage. Okay, maybe that wasn't my favorite stage, but she was an itty bitty baby and MY itty bitty baby and she was perfect and she still is and run on sentences are my favorite!
My point is: I love hearing my girls have conversations with each other. I love when they all play together. I love hearing them scheming with each other from the next room. I love when they joke with each other and get along. I love that they always want to be together. I love it all. And I have loved all of the stages, but it goes so freaking fast.
And then sometimes I feel guilty. Guilty that I didn't just relish in the moments like I should have. Guilty that I can't remember every single thing they have said over their short little childhoods. Guilty that I don't take more pictures and videos. Guilty that I haven't taken them to enough places. Guilty that we don't do enough during the day. Guilty that I say no too often. Guilty for the amount of tv they watch. I feel guilty about pretty much everything.
Guilt is just not a fun place to live. It's exhausting worrying about all of that stuff! And you know what? My girls just love being with me. They love talking to me and asking me every question under the sun. They love when I just get on the floor and play with them. Addison asks me almost every day, 'Um, Mommy...can I tell you something?' My response every time is, 'You can ALWAYS tell me something.'
I don't need to feel guilty for all that stuff. We have videos. We have pictures. We do so many awesome and fun things. The girls have so many wonderful memories already and they talk about them all the time!
Mom guilt is so real. And so stupid. I'm quitting. That's my New Year's Resolution. Quit the Mom guilt because nothing good can come of it.
I'm going to enjoy my babies while they're little. AND I'm going to enjoy them growing up! Because it is just so freaking fun!!
But for now, I'm just gonna focus on those little dangling feet and hope they stay around a little while longer.
Showing posts with label Motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motherhood. Show all posts
06 January 2015
25 March 2013
Last Week.
Last Monday, the 18th, was my very first time taking all three girls out on my own since Kalkidan has been home. It was a feat, let me tell you! Having two three year olds is no joke. I had no idea who to get out of the car first and where to put the other one. And on top of all that, it was raining outside. So we were off to a good start, obviously.
We headed to Makayla's gymnastics field trip for the morning. In all seriousness, it really wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Sure we had our moments. Like when Kalkidan kept trying to sneak off and go anywhere else. And when Addi just melted on the floor in between my legs while I'm trying to watch her big sister rock it on the high rings.
Makayla LOVED gymnastics. She had such a blast. They went on the huge trampoline at first and then jumped in to the foam block things when they were done with that. While she was in there, she looked up at me and waved. It was so precious. And she looked so stinking little!!
They moved on to another area where the climbed all over and through a bunch of different stuff. And then they went on the high rings and Makayla was in heaven! She was the first one to go all the way through the course and she was just beyond excited!! The high rings were all she talked about for the rest of the day. :)
After that came the balance beam course and she rocked that one, too! She got really nervous on the high balance beam, but she did her very best. Even fell off a few times, but just hopped right back up...with a little help from one of her teachers. It was a pretty fun morning even though my little babies weren't behaving as well as I would have liked. We somehow managed to get back to the car and then we treated ourselves to Chick-Fil-A!
Wednesday was the second day that I took all three girls out on my own. I know, twice in one week! Makayla had her Kindergarten screening so we all went to that. It didn't go as well this time. I called Adam in tears after it was all over. And I don't want to talk about it. Makayla did fantastic at her screening. I forgot all of her paperwork so she's not technically signed up yet, but whatever. She will be.
And Friday was four months since Kalkidan has been home with us forever!!! I can't believe it's been four months already! Well, I can believe it. I've been stuck in my house almost that entire time...mostly due to me being too nervous to take all three of them out on my own. And most of those fears proved true this past week. But, we are still working on it and things can only go up from here, right?
It was an eventful week and one I would rather not live over again. So thankful to start this week anew with all my laundry and dishes done today! :)
We headed to Makayla's gymnastics field trip for the morning. In all seriousness, it really wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Sure we had our moments. Like when Kalkidan kept trying to sneak off and go anywhere else. And when Addi just melted on the floor in between my legs while I'm trying to watch her big sister rock it on the high rings.
Makayla LOVED gymnastics. She had such a blast. They went on the huge trampoline at first and then jumped in to the foam block things when they were done with that. While she was in there, she looked up at me and waved. It was so precious. And she looked so stinking little!!
They moved on to another area where the climbed all over and through a bunch of different stuff. And then they went on the high rings and Makayla was in heaven! She was the first one to go all the way through the course and she was just beyond excited!! The high rings were all she talked about for the rest of the day. :)
After that came the balance beam course and she rocked that one, too! She got really nervous on the high balance beam, but she did her very best. Even fell off a few times, but just hopped right back up...with a little help from one of her teachers. It was a pretty fun morning even though my little babies weren't behaving as well as I would have liked. We somehow managed to get back to the car and then we treated ourselves to Chick-Fil-A!
Wednesday was the second day that I took all three girls out on my own. I know, twice in one week! Makayla had her Kindergarten screening so we all went to that. It didn't go as well this time. I called Adam in tears after it was all over. And I don't want to talk about it. Makayla did fantastic at her screening. I forgot all of her paperwork so she's not technically signed up yet, but whatever. She will be.
And Friday was four months since Kalkidan has been home with us forever!!! I can't believe it's been four months already! Well, I can believe it. I've been stuck in my house almost that entire time...mostly due to me being too nervous to take all three of them out on my own. And most of those fears proved true this past week. But, we are still working on it and things can only go up from here, right?
It was an eventful week and one I would rather not live over again. So thankful to start this week anew with all my laundry and dishes done today! :)
28 February 2013
Priority Changes and Good Days.
Today was a good day. It's only been two days since I wrote a very brief post on the mother that I want to be to my children and the ways that I feel I have failed them so far in their little lives, but I see the changes coming out in me already. And this has NOTHING to do with me being awesome and EVERYTHING to do with Christ being awesome IN me. I'm fighting my selfish desires every day. I thought I was fighting them before, but now I know I am. And it's only because of Jesus that I have the ability to do it, even on such a tiny scale.
Before my huge revelation the other night (I mean, it was HUGE. I was broken, in tears, laying in bed just journaling over and over and over.) I would just be waiting for the clock to get to 1pm so I could put everyone down for their naps. And I would do it as fast as possible so I could get on the computer, watch a tv show, read my book, etc. Anything for just ME...no doing chores or thinking about anything else but myself and how to make me happy for a couple hours. But now, now I see how ridiculous that was. I would make Makayla sit in her room for Quiet Time for two, maybe three, hours a day. Just because I didn't want to have to answer the questions she asks or do something else that I just don't want to do.
It's making me feel very raw to write this all out there for public consumption, but I'm just keeping it real. This blog is my life and this is the season I'm in right now. Take it or leave it.
I see now how much I ignored my beautiful and precious daughters. And I don't want to anymore!!!!
Which brings me back to today. :)
Makayla and I had dentist appointments this morning. My mom came over and watched the babies so I could just take Makayla. We had a great time together...talking in the car on the way there, listening to worship music and enjoying each other. Then after that we headed to Panera for lunch and I just sat there and listened to her talk to me. She told me about how her eyes were dripping from the light being too bright in her eyes when the dentist was cleaning her teeth and they put sunglasses on her. (We got seen at the same time so I wasn't with her.) She told me about how everyone LOVES her unicorn hat (FACT!) and that we should buy everyone their own since they love it so much. And I told her that they love it because SHE is wearing it which made her smile.
I got to sow into her life and just love her. Something I really haven't taken the time to do for a very long time. I'm probably being harder on myself than I should be, but I know that since we started our adoption process, my life got sucked in to that. Now that's over. Kalkidan is home and that is where my focus needs to be...on my three daughters. I still love adoption and will advocate for it (and possibly adopt again one day!) and Ethiopia will forever have a place in my heart...I can't stay away for too long, you know. :) But right now? Right now, I am called to this season of loving and putting my everything into my family, including Adam.
Things have gotten turned upside around here with bringing Kalkidan home and everything that happened in between there that life just got all kinds of messed up. I'm refiguring out my priorities right now. And I think for the first time, I feel like I'm on the path to getting them right. Ethiopia and Africa cannot be my main focus. I read other peoples' blogs that say that they have to be focused on that stuff and I start to second guess myself. Should I be focusing on loving and serving the least of these? Right now in this moment? And the honest answer, for me, is no. I can't. Too much damage has been done to our lives in the here and now. And that is where my focus needs to be for this time. I will always love Ethiopia and Africa and one day I will go back. But the Lord is the only one that knows when that will be. And I'm resting in that. I'm putting my all in to my three precious girls, one of whom has only been with us for three months and has serious trauma issues that we all need to work through with her.
So yes. Back to today. Makayla and I had a great time at Panera and then we brought everyone else lunch. We spent some time with her little sisters and Nana, put the babies to bed and Makayla and I got to spend some more time together. Yesterday I shared with Makayla that we would have some Fun Time and then Quiet Time, so Mommy can still have some downtime, but I'm not being as selfish as I was in the past...just a few days ago and for the past several years. We did some workbook pages that she LOVED, played with some Play-Doh and then did a picture search together. It's only an hour each day, because clearly I'm not cured of my selfishness and I never will be...it's human nature, but I have seen such a difference in the way that she acts with having this time just me and her.
I've also noticed a difference in my attitude towards all my girls and towards Adam. Again, this is not to boast about how great I am. It's to boast about how great Christ is! He is the only reason that I have had any of these convictions about how skewed my priorities in life were and how I was spending my time. He is the only reason that I feel called to this season of putting my all in to my family and not desiring to be somewhere else. He is the only reason that I can do these things. It's not at all because of me. I'm a work in progress and nowhere near where I should be, but I am so thankful that God is showing me all that He is right now so that I can be the woman, wife and mother that He wants me to be to glorify His Name.
It's been an amazing last two days. I know it's not much but it's a start and how else can you change if you don't start somewhere?
Also Adam sent me this blog post a couple weeks ago when I was really struggling with liking Kalkidan and rereading it today has helped me so much. He brought it up last night when were talking about all of this mothering stuff and all that God is revealing to me and it is all so true. I didn't adopt Kalkidan to adopt the cause of adoption or to adopt the cause of orphans. While I love those things and believe in them and will advocate for them, I adopted Kalkidan to bring another child into our family to love. For her to have a place to feel safe and call home forever. Our adoption journey is over now so I need to focus on Kalkidan being here...not living in the adoption world. I'm not shutting everyone out that is from our adoption circle, but I can't keep living with talk about court dates and referrals. Those things are all amazing and wonderful...truly they are. But I can't live there right now because that part of our journey is closed. Kalkidan is home and with us forever and she is why we went down the path of adoption in the first place.
Anyway, here's the link: Adopting a Kid, Not a Cause
Forgot to add this part earlier...last night when Adam and I were talking about my failures as a mama, I felt like we should be praying with them and for them more. We pray with them at dinner and at bedtime, but I feel like God wants us to do more. To show them more of Him in the every day. So today on the way home from Panera, we passed a car accident and I asked Makayla if she wanted to pray. She suggested that I pray instead. So I did. Makayla really loved it.
We were home for a few minutes when Makayla asked me to come with her behind the couch...the girls like to hide back there. And she showed me a tiny little cut on her knee. She always shows me her little scrapes and bruises that she gets from every day fun and I usually just tell her I'm sorry that she's hurt and try to validate her feelings. This time, I asked if she wanted me to pray for her. And she said yes. So I did.
This evening before bed she showed me another little scrape and we prayed for that one, too. It really made her feel better and I think that's the best kind of validation that I can give her. That every little thing matters to me. And even bigger is that every little thing matters to Jesus. And she can take it all to Him. All the time.
When Addi woke up from her nap today, she stuck her arm out and I asked her if it was hurting her and she said, 'Deah. (yeah)'. So I asked her if I could pray for it and she said yes, so I did. She was so happy when I was finished.
While we were putting the babies to bed, Makayla came into their room with a little stuffed doggy and said, "I want to give this to someone, maybe like my sisters or one of my friends that doesn't have a doggy. Or maybe someone that doesn't have a doggy. Because I have so many and I want somebody to have one, too!" So she put it by the stairs and asked us to leave it there for her to take to preschool in the morning. Adam and I both told her how proud we are of her and how she is being so generous in wanting to give something to someone else that doesn't have what she has. It was so beautiful seeing her precious, loving heart played out in action. I mean, I've seen it before but this was a new way that I haven't seen before. We just kept telling her how great it is that she wanted to do that for someone else.
I really, really love my daughters.
Before my huge revelation the other night (I mean, it was HUGE. I was broken, in tears, laying in bed just journaling over and over and over.) I would just be waiting for the clock to get to 1pm so I could put everyone down for their naps. And I would do it as fast as possible so I could get on the computer, watch a tv show, read my book, etc. Anything for just ME...no doing chores or thinking about anything else but myself and how to make me happy for a couple hours. But now, now I see how ridiculous that was. I would make Makayla sit in her room for Quiet Time for two, maybe three, hours a day. Just because I didn't want to have to answer the questions she asks or do something else that I just don't want to do.
It's making me feel very raw to write this all out there for public consumption, but I'm just keeping it real. This blog is my life and this is the season I'm in right now. Take it or leave it.
I see now how much I ignored my beautiful and precious daughters. And I don't want to anymore!!!!
Which brings me back to today. :)
Makayla and I had dentist appointments this morning. My mom came over and watched the babies so I could just take Makayla. We had a great time together...talking in the car on the way there, listening to worship music and enjoying each other. Then after that we headed to Panera for lunch and I just sat there and listened to her talk to me. She told me about how her eyes were dripping from the light being too bright in her eyes when the dentist was cleaning her teeth and they put sunglasses on her. (We got seen at the same time so I wasn't with her.) She told me about how everyone LOVES her unicorn hat (FACT!) and that we should buy everyone their own since they love it so much. And I told her that they love it because SHE is wearing it which made her smile.
I got to sow into her life and just love her. Something I really haven't taken the time to do for a very long time. I'm probably being harder on myself than I should be, but I know that since we started our adoption process, my life got sucked in to that. Now that's over. Kalkidan is home and that is where my focus needs to be...on my three daughters. I still love adoption and will advocate for it (and possibly adopt again one day!) and Ethiopia will forever have a place in my heart...I can't stay away for too long, you know. :) But right now? Right now, I am called to this season of loving and putting my everything into my family, including Adam.
Things have gotten turned upside around here with bringing Kalkidan home and everything that happened in between there that life just got all kinds of messed up. I'm refiguring out my priorities right now. And I think for the first time, I feel like I'm on the path to getting them right. Ethiopia and Africa cannot be my main focus. I read other peoples' blogs that say that they have to be focused on that stuff and I start to second guess myself. Should I be focusing on loving and serving the least of these? Right now in this moment? And the honest answer, for me, is no. I can't. Too much damage has been done to our lives in the here and now. And that is where my focus needs to be for this time. I will always love Ethiopia and Africa and one day I will go back. But the Lord is the only one that knows when that will be. And I'm resting in that. I'm putting my all in to my three precious girls, one of whom has only been with us for three months and has serious trauma issues that we all need to work through with her.
So yes. Back to today. Makayla and I had a great time at Panera and then we brought everyone else lunch. We spent some time with her little sisters and Nana, put the babies to bed and Makayla and I got to spend some more time together. Yesterday I shared with Makayla that we would have some Fun Time and then Quiet Time, so Mommy can still have some downtime, but I'm not being as selfish as I was in the past...just a few days ago and for the past several years. We did some workbook pages that she LOVED, played with some Play-Doh and then did a picture search together. It's only an hour each day, because clearly I'm not cured of my selfishness and I never will be...it's human nature, but I have seen such a difference in the way that she acts with having this time just me and her.
I've also noticed a difference in my attitude towards all my girls and towards Adam. Again, this is not to boast about how great I am. It's to boast about how great Christ is! He is the only reason that I have had any of these convictions about how skewed my priorities in life were and how I was spending my time. He is the only reason that I feel called to this season of putting my all in to my family and not desiring to be somewhere else. He is the only reason that I can do these things. It's not at all because of me. I'm a work in progress and nowhere near where I should be, but I am so thankful that God is showing me all that He is right now so that I can be the woman, wife and mother that He wants me to be to glorify His Name.
It's been an amazing last two days. I know it's not much but it's a start and how else can you change if you don't start somewhere?
Also Adam sent me this blog post a couple weeks ago when I was really struggling with liking Kalkidan and rereading it today has helped me so much. He brought it up last night when were talking about all of this mothering stuff and all that God is revealing to me and it is all so true. I didn't adopt Kalkidan to adopt the cause of adoption or to adopt the cause of orphans. While I love those things and believe in them and will advocate for them, I adopted Kalkidan to bring another child into our family to love. For her to have a place to feel safe and call home forever. Our adoption journey is over now so I need to focus on Kalkidan being here...not living in the adoption world. I'm not shutting everyone out that is from our adoption circle, but I can't keep living with talk about court dates and referrals. Those things are all amazing and wonderful...truly they are. But I can't live there right now because that part of our journey is closed. Kalkidan is home and with us forever and she is why we went down the path of adoption in the first place.
Anyway, here's the link: Adopting a Kid, Not a Cause
Forgot to add this part earlier...last night when Adam and I were talking about my failures as a mama, I felt like we should be praying with them and for them more. We pray with them at dinner and at bedtime, but I feel like God wants us to do more. To show them more of Him in the every day. So today on the way home from Panera, we passed a car accident and I asked Makayla if she wanted to pray. She suggested that I pray instead. So I did. Makayla really loved it.
We were home for a few minutes when Makayla asked me to come with her behind the couch...the girls like to hide back there. And she showed me a tiny little cut on her knee. She always shows me her little scrapes and bruises that she gets from every day fun and I usually just tell her I'm sorry that she's hurt and try to validate her feelings. This time, I asked if she wanted me to pray for her. And she said yes. So I did.
This evening before bed she showed me another little scrape and we prayed for that one, too. It really made her feel better and I think that's the best kind of validation that I can give her. That every little thing matters to me. And even bigger is that every little thing matters to Jesus. And she can take it all to Him. All the time.
When Addi woke up from her nap today, she stuck her arm out and I asked her if it was hurting her and she said, 'Deah. (yeah)'. So I asked her if I could pray for it and she said yes, so I did. She was so happy when I was finished.
While we were putting the babies to bed, Makayla came into their room with a little stuffed doggy and said, "I want to give this to someone, maybe like my sisters or one of my friends that doesn't have a doggy. Or maybe someone that doesn't have a doggy. Because I have so many and I want somebody to have one, too!" So she put it by the stairs and asked us to leave it there for her to take to preschool in the morning. Adam and I both told her how proud we are of her and how she is being so generous in wanting to give something to someone else that doesn't have what she has. It was so beautiful seeing her precious, loving heart played out in action. I mean, I've seen it before but this was a new way that I haven't seen before. We just kept telling her how great it is that she wanted to do that for someone else.
I really, really love my daughters.
26 February 2013
Kindergarten Orientation.
It's amazing how going to a meeting about signing your first child up for Kindergarten can make you all nostalgic. We went to this meeting tonight...for the first time in my life. I will have a Kindergartener. I know it's probably not that huge to most of you, but to me, it's huge. I just can't believe that Makayla is five years old and next year she will be in school all. day. long.
So we went to orientation tonight and I got overwhelmed with information. I still don't know what I'm supposed to do to get her set up, but I'm sure I'll figure it out! While we were there, they were talking about the kids riding the bus and I immediately thought, 'We don't live that far from the school! I'll take her every day. No biggie!' Then Adam asks her if she wants to ride the bus or have Mommy take her and she says, 'The bus!!', with MUCH enthusiasm I might add. And I literally started to tear up when I heard her say that. I just can't imagine her getting on that bus every day for school. I can't. And yet, next school year, we'll be doing just that.
Right now she goes to preschool three days a week for two hours each time. Not much time away from her Mommy. We spend all of our days together. Granted, I don't always use my time with my children wisely like I should, but we are always together. I get frustrated more than I should. I get angry more than I should. I get annoyed more than I should.
And today I realized how quickly time passes. My baby, the one who made me a Mommy, will be in Kindergarten this August. It makes me sad. It will be so hard for me to let her go even though there are times right now where I can't wait for her to be in school all day long. It stings to write those words. That I can't wait for her to be gone. Because once that time comes, there is no going back. She will be in school more than she will be at home with me.
Have I done everything I have wanted to do with her? I know she's still here and obviously she will still be living at home for a long, long time, but going from spending all of our days together to just not is going to be very difficult for me. And for her, I'm sure. She loves preschool right now, but it's such a small dose that going all day, every day will be a huge transition. I know that if we need to, we can pull her out and I can homeschool her. It wouldn't be my ideal situation because I know how easily stressed I get and I don't think I'm the most suitable teacher for my girls, but if things get crazy, we always have that option. That's good to remember.
I need to focus on the positive more than the negative. I'm not sure why that's so difficult for me. I'm exploring it all right now...looking internally a lot. Why I do the things I do even when I don't want to do them. It's hard. I'm in a hard place right now. Wanting all this time to myself yet wanting my babies near. I clearly can't live in both worlds and I need to stop being so selfish with my time. I need to enjoy my children while they are still here. I need to figure out how to get Makayla to be comfortable sharing her feelings with me so that when issues do come up, she knows she can talk to me about it. I don't ever want her to feel like she can't confide in me. Sure our relationship will change over time. I always want our home to be a place that my daughters can come and just rest. That they can freely talk without ever feeling judged or like I'm trying to change their mind on something. I want them to just be. How do I do that? I'm not sure yet. I clearly haven't done a very good job so far in her little life because she covers her ears all the time and then I end up giving up and just yelling about whatever is going on. That's the problem right now. I fly off the handle so quickly that my girls know that I'm not emotionally stable. They have no idea how I will react to the same situation every time. What a sad place for them to live. And for me to live.
Whew. Obviously this is a lot. I wasn't trying to go down this rabbit hole, but it happened. Apparently I needed to get this stuff off my mind and on to some paper, of sorts. If I want my girls to confide in me and be able to talk to me, I need to have more self-control. It's SO hard for me. This is undeniably what God is teaching me in this season of life. Thank the Lord that my time is not up yet. That Makayla IS still at home more than she's not. That I CAN change my attitude towards life. That I CAN have more self-control. That I CAN teach my girls the right way to live.
Told you kindergarten orientation messed me up big time.
So we went to orientation tonight and I got overwhelmed with information. I still don't know what I'm supposed to do to get her set up, but I'm sure I'll figure it out! While we were there, they were talking about the kids riding the bus and I immediately thought, 'We don't live that far from the school! I'll take her every day. No biggie!' Then Adam asks her if she wants to ride the bus or have Mommy take her and she says, 'The bus!!', with MUCH enthusiasm I might add. And I literally started to tear up when I heard her say that. I just can't imagine her getting on that bus every day for school. I can't. And yet, next school year, we'll be doing just that.
Right now she goes to preschool three days a week for two hours each time. Not much time away from her Mommy. We spend all of our days together. Granted, I don't always use my time with my children wisely like I should, but we are always together. I get frustrated more than I should. I get angry more than I should. I get annoyed more than I should.
And today I realized how quickly time passes. My baby, the one who made me a Mommy, will be in Kindergarten this August. It makes me sad. It will be so hard for me to let her go even though there are times right now where I can't wait for her to be in school all day long. It stings to write those words. That I can't wait for her to be gone. Because once that time comes, there is no going back. She will be in school more than she will be at home with me.
Have I done everything I have wanted to do with her? I know she's still here and obviously she will still be living at home for a long, long time, but going from spending all of our days together to just not is going to be very difficult for me. And for her, I'm sure. She loves preschool right now, but it's such a small dose that going all day, every day will be a huge transition. I know that if we need to, we can pull her out and I can homeschool her. It wouldn't be my ideal situation because I know how easily stressed I get and I don't think I'm the most suitable teacher for my girls, but if things get crazy, we always have that option. That's good to remember.
I need to focus on the positive more than the negative. I'm not sure why that's so difficult for me. I'm exploring it all right now...looking internally a lot. Why I do the things I do even when I don't want to do them. It's hard. I'm in a hard place right now. Wanting all this time to myself yet wanting my babies near. I clearly can't live in both worlds and I need to stop being so selfish with my time. I need to enjoy my children while they are still here. I need to figure out how to get Makayla to be comfortable sharing her feelings with me so that when issues do come up, she knows she can talk to me about it. I don't ever want her to feel like she can't confide in me. Sure our relationship will change over time. I always want our home to be a place that my daughters can come and just rest. That they can freely talk without ever feeling judged or like I'm trying to change their mind on something. I want them to just be. How do I do that? I'm not sure yet. I clearly haven't done a very good job so far in her little life because she covers her ears all the time and then I end up giving up and just yelling about whatever is going on. That's the problem right now. I fly off the handle so quickly that my girls know that I'm not emotionally stable. They have no idea how I will react to the same situation every time. What a sad place for them to live. And for me to live.
Whew. Obviously this is a lot. I wasn't trying to go down this rabbit hole, but it happened. Apparently I needed to get this stuff off my mind and on to some paper, of sorts. If I want my girls to confide in me and be able to talk to me, I need to have more self-control. It's SO hard for me. This is undeniably what God is teaching me in this season of life. Thank the Lord that my time is not up yet. That Makayla IS still at home more than she's not. That I CAN change my attitude towards life. That I CAN have more self-control. That I CAN teach my girls the right way to live.
Told you kindergarten orientation messed me up big time.
09 January 2013
Life.
Here we are nine days in to the new year. We've had a hard time adjusting to everything that's been going on around here. Life has been hard. The suffering and the hurt and the crying out to God that we have done, they all shape us and mold us into who we are. But ultimately, they bring us to joy. And that is what we should remember.
So yes. Nine days in. A lot has happened in nine days.
We started potty training Addison on the first. We haven't been very committed with it because I'm usually just overwhelmed with every day life...taking care of the girls, making breakfast, lunch and dinner. Okay that's a lie. Adam makes dinner 99% of the time. Getting Makayla to preschool three days a week, cleaning the house, folding the laundry, playing with my kids, homework stress, etc., etc. We have started potty training, but we're taking it slow. The first day, we jumped right in...straight to undies. It was too soon. We're in Pull-Ups now and sitting on the potty every hour. She has peed in the potty one time in these nine days, but I'm not stressing about it. I'm just taking it one day at a time.
On the second, I got my new tattoos. They are gorgeous and I am in love with them. Africa on my wrist, seven birds on my right forearm and hope in Amharic above the birds. Love, love, love.
Makayla has gone back to school. We are all happy to have our routine back, though I miss having fun family days together, snuggled in at home. We had an awesome snow storm over the break and Adam and Makayla built forts outside. They have loved it! Though it looks like they might start to melt today. :(
We started sponsoring another child in Ethiopia. This time, through Compassion International. We are SO excited because we think she found out that she will get to go to school on Gena! Which is so amazing. We are so thankful that God has blessed us so abundantly so that we can bless others. What a gift.
So yes. Nine days in. A lot has happened in nine days.
We started potty training Addison on the first. We haven't been very committed with it because I'm usually just overwhelmed with every day life...taking care of the girls, making breakfast, lunch and dinner. Okay that's a lie. Adam makes dinner 99% of the time. Getting Makayla to preschool three days a week, cleaning the house, folding the laundry, playing with my kids, homework stress, etc., etc. We have started potty training, but we're taking it slow. The first day, we jumped right in...straight to undies. It was too soon. We're in Pull-Ups now and sitting on the potty every hour. She has peed in the potty one time in these nine days, but I'm not stressing about it. I'm just taking it one day at a time.
On the second, I got my new tattoos. They are gorgeous and I am in love with them. Africa on my wrist, seven birds on my right forearm and hope in Amharic above the birds. Love, love, love.
Makayla has gone back to school. We are all happy to have our routine back, though I miss having fun family days together, snuggled in at home. We had an awesome snow storm over the break and Adam and Makayla built forts outside. They have loved it! Though it looks like they might start to melt today. :(
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| Just a little taste test. ;) |
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| Makayla in her fort with her mail! :) |
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| HUGE. I mean, HUGE. |
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| Makayla next to hers and Kalkidan's. |
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| And here is the entrance! For little people only...obviously. ;) |
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| Our sweet Lemlem. She has been waiting almost a year for a sponsor. |
Sunday, the 6th, was the first time we all went to church together! Kalkidan will be staying with us during the service, which is what we feel is best for her right now. The nursery is too much like an orphanage setting for her.
We celebrated Ethiopian Christmas on the 7th, which you can read about in my blog post here.
In between all that, I've been reading lots of books, taking lots of pictures on Instagram, loving my kids and trying to be in the moment. We have also, as a family, been doing our Jesus Calling devotional. Every night after I am finished reading it and explaining it to the kids, Adam prays for them. It's such a beautiful time for us a family and I'm praying that it will really connect us to each other and grow us closer to Jesus. And we've started taking daily vitamins together every night at dinner. It's not huge, but I just love it. I love doing things that connect us to each other.
Also every night at dinner, we read a question from a jar that we have sitting on the table. It's been fun to hear how the kids answer each question. I got them off the internet here.
Yesterday Makayla was super sick. Sweet girl. She is usually go, go, go and talk, talk, talk all day long. Yesterday morning, she just laid on the floor with her blankey and Doggy. When I asked if she wanted to eat lunch she said no, so I knew she was serious. At 11:30, I asked if she wanted to go to bed and she said yes. She slept until 2 and then came down and laid on the couch for another hour. After that she seemed to be doing better and was back up and playing. She didn't eat much at dinner and her forehead was still pretty hot. She took a bath and then came downstairs and just laid on the couch. When it was time for bed, she got off the couch and started screaming and pointing to her mouth. Then she barfed all over the kitchen floor. Poor girl. I felt so bad for her, but she was so precious about it all. We cleaned her up and put her to bed. She seems to be feeling better today, but I kept her home from preschool so we don't spread our germs.
Kalkidan started sleeping in her own room at night time for the first time last night!! We are so excited to have one room in the house that is just ours again. I know it seems like something so little, but it's a blessing to be able to sleep and not have to tip-toe in, praying you don't wake your 3 year old. :) Addison and Kalkidan share a room and last night was awesome. Addi usually cries for an hour every night...last night, she didn't cry at all! I'm thinking this is going to be really great for both of them. Our sweet little twinsies. :)
That's what's been happening here since 2013 started! Never a dull moment around here. Makayla's birthday party is on Saturday so we are getting ready for that, too! :)
In between all that, I've been reading lots of books, taking lots of pictures on Instagram, loving my kids and trying to be in the moment. We have also, as a family, been doing our Jesus Calling devotional. Every night after I am finished reading it and explaining it to the kids, Adam prays for them. It's such a beautiful time for us a family and I'm praying that it will really connect us to each other and grow us closer to Jesus. And we've started taking daily vitamins together every night at dinner. It's not huge, but I just love it. I love doing things that connect us to each other.
Also every night at dinner, we read a question from a jar that we have sitting on the table. It's been fun to hear how the kids answer each question. I got them off the internet here.
Yesterday Makayla was super sick. Sweet girl. She is usually go, go, go and talk, talk, talk all day long. Yesterday morning, she just laid on the floor with her blankey and Doggy. When I asked if she wanted to eat lunch she said no, so I knew she was serious. At 11:30, I asked if she wanted to go to bed and she said yes. She slept until 2 and then came down and laid on the couch for another hour. After that she seemed to be doing better and was back up and playing. She didn't eat much at dinner and her forehead was still pretty hot. She took a bath and then came downstairs and just laid on the couch. When it was time for bed, she got off the couch and started screaming and pointing to her mouth. Then she barfed all over the kitchen floor. Poor girl. I felt so bad for her, but she was so precious about it all. We cleaned her up and put her to bed. She seems to be feeling better today, but I kept her home from preschool so we don't spread our germs.
Kalkidan started sleeping in her own room at night time for the first time last night!! We are so excited to have one room in the house that is just ours again. I know it seems like something so little, but it's a blessing to be able to sleep and not have to tip-toe in, praying you don't wake your 3 year old. :) Addison and Kalkidan share a room and last night was awesome. Addi usually cries for an hour every night...last night, she didn't cry at all! I'm thinking this is going to be really great for both of them. Our sweet little twinsies. :)
That's what's been happening here since 2013 started! Never a dull moment around here. Makayla's birthday party is on Saturday so we are getting ready for that, too! :)
07 January 2013
Melkam Gena!
Today is Christmas in Ethiopia! So we get to celebrate two Christmases! It is so much fun in our house! I have lots of catching up to do...sooooo many pictures to sift through! But for now, I'll start with where we are today. Gena!
We had a great little feast of doro wat with dabo. No injera for us since we didn't order any in time and our injera maker isn't here yet. :( But it was delicious nonetheless! I was crazy busy today...running to the grocery store while Makayla was in preschool. It was my first time taking the babies out by myself. It was hard, but I managed. I just stuck both of them in the cart before I went in to the store and it worked out pretty well. Thankfully I didn't have much to get or there would have been no room! :)
I got some last minute stuff for our dinner, some green, yellow and red balloons and small gifts for the girls. In Ethiopia, Christmas isn't about giving and getting gifts. It's about celebrating the birth of Jesus. Love that! Let's get back to the Reason we celebrate in the first place. So I bought the girls all socks. They were way excited about socks! It was cute.
I spent the rest of the day, during nap time, making niter kibbeh (clarified butter with spices and stuff), chopping onions and preparing everything for our doro wat. It was nice and simple, but a sweet little feast. I wrapped the gifts, hung our Ethiopian flag and got the girls dressed in their Habesha dresses. I couldn't find Addi's though. :( It was a low key day and I think the girls loved having another day to have a celebration! Oh, I also made brownies for dessert. Yum. Enjoy pictures from our awesome Gena celebration!!
We had a great little feast of doro wat with dabo. No injera for us since we didn't order any in time and our injera maker isn't here yet. :( But it was delicious nonetheless! I was crazy busy today...running to the grocery store while Makayla was in preschool. It was my first time taking the babies out by myself. It was hard, but I managed. I just stuck both of them in the cart before I went in to the store and it worked out pretty well. Thankfully I didn't have much to get or there would have been no room! :)
I got some last minute stuff for our dinner, some green, yellow and red balloons and small gifts for the girls. In Ethiopia, Christmas isn't about giving and getting gifts. It's about celebrating the birth of Jesus. Love that! Let's get back to the Reason we celebrate in the first place. So I bought the girls all socks. They were way excited about socks! It was cute.
I spent the rest of the day, during nap time, making niter kibbeh (clarified butter with spices and stuff), chopping onions and preparing everything for our doro wat. It was nice and simple, but a sweet little feast. I wrapped the gifts, hung our Ethiopian flag and got the girls dressed in their Habesha dresses. I couldn't find Addi's though. :( It was a low key day and I think the girls loved having another day to have a celebration! Oh, I also made brownies for dessert. Yum. Enjoy pictures from our awesome Gena celebration!!
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| Adam made this sign the night before for us to hang up. It says Melkam Gena in Amharic. :) |
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| Melkam Gena! |
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| Love this. :) |
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| One little Habesha... |
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| So sweet. |
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| My niter kibbeh gone wrong... :( |
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| Me and my sweet Habesha girl. |
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| Daddy and his oldest girl. |
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| She was over it. :) |
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| Daddy and his sweet Habesha girl. |
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| And his youngest girl! |
01 January 2013
2013. Hope.
Happy New Year!!
We had a wonderful day just staying home with the family today. I feel like I still have so much of life to catch up on from 2012, but maybe I'll just have to let that go and move on into the new year!! :)
So this year, I have goals that I'd like to achieve, but more than that, I have one word that I want to focus on for the year. My word for 2013 is hope.
2012 was a wonderful year for our family. We had a lot of changes in all of our lives and while that is amazing, it was also very, very hard. We, adoptive families, we don't talk about the hard very much. We try to paint this beautiful picture of adoption and how it's all glorious and beautiful. And while that is true, it's very messy. It comes with a price and a lot of hurt. Adoption comes out of pain. There is beauty in that pain, but it takes a long time to peel away the layers to get there. Our layers are nowhere near done being peeled.
We have a lot of work to do in 2013 and I have lots of hope. I have so much hope for our family and for the ways that we will grow closer to each other and closer to Jesus this year. 2012 was just kind of weird for me.
I have lots of hope for this year. Hope for a fresh start. Hope for new beginnings. Hope for redemption in my kids' lives. Hope for more love and more giving and more joy. So much hope for 2013. Thank You, Jesus, for being our Ultimate Hope.
I'm excited for 2013! Let's do this!
Hope.
"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." -Romans 8:25
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." -Romans 12:12
"That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe." -1 Timothy 4:10
"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." -Hebrews 11:1
And my personal favorite:
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." -Romans 15:13
We had a wonderful day just staying home with the family today. I feel like I still have so much of life to catch up on from 2012, but maybe I'll just have to let that go and move on into the new year!! :)
So this year, I have goals that I'd like to achieve, but more than that, I have one word that I want to focus on for the year. My word for 2013 is hope.
2012 was a wonderful year for our family. We had a lot of changes in all of our lives and while that is amazing, it was also very, very hard. We, adoptive families, we don't talk about the hard very much. We try to paint this beautiful picture of adoption and how it's all glorious and beautiful. And while that is true, it's very messy. It comes with a price and a lot of hurt. Adoption comes out of pain. There is beauty in that pain, but it takes a long time to peel away the layers to get there. Our layers are nowhere near done being peeled.
We have a lot of work to do in 2013 and I have lots of hope. I have so much hope for our family and for the ways that we will grow closer to each other and closer to Jesus this year. 2012 was just kind of weird for me.
I have lots of hope for this year. Hope for a fresh start. Hope for new beginnings. Hope for redemption in my kids' lives. Hope for more love and more giving and more joy. So much hope for 2013. Thank You, Jesus, for being our Ultimate Hope.
I'm excited for 2013! Let's do this!
Hope.
"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." -Romans 8:25
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." -Romans 12:12
"That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe." -1 Timothy 4:10
"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." -Hebrews 11:1
And my personal favorite:
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." -Romans 15:13
31 December 2012
2012 Recap.
2012 has been quite a year for our little family! We have had some pretty significant changes come this year and there is no way I could be any more thankful! We have been beyond blessed and I'm really looking forward to seeing what 2013 has in store for all of us!! So, here's my little recap of 2012 for us...
January
We had Makayla's 4th birthday party with family and friends! So fun!
We celebrated being DTE (Dossier To Ethiopia) for three months! We thought we were going to be on the wait list for much, much longer. Little did we know the HUGE plans God had in mind for our family of four...
We also started sponsoring our sweet boy, Habtamu, in Adami Tulu, Ethiopia!!
February
Addison started walking!!
We had a spaghetti fundraiser at my MIL's church for our adoption. It was amazing!
We celebrated our one year 'adoption talk' anniversary. :)
I announced that I would be going on a mission trip to Ethiopia in June!
We celebrated four months DTE!
We got fully funded for our referral fee for our adoption!!
March
We went to the More4Orphans summit with our good friends, Adam and Ashley. It was a life changing weekend, to say the least.
We celebrated five months DTE!
I got all my travel shots for my mission trip.
Adam and I went to a marriage conference at our church and while we were there, Makayla fell off her bike. It took all I had to not run out of church to be with my girl.
I got fully funded for my mission trip!!
April
I went to Maryland solo to see Rusty, Janelle and baby Genova! Surprise visit to Delaware to see Brian, too!
We celebrated 6 months DTE!
We went to the zoo and to the library with good friends and had good times.
We were blessed by a dear friend that announced a photography fundraiser for our adoption.
May
Adam and I both turned 28 years old!
We celebrated 7 years of marriage at Empress Taytu!
We also celebrated 7 months DTE!
I had a great Mother's Day and even had a little tea at Makayla's preschool.
We went to a Cleveland Indians game with the girls, thanks to Adam's work! We were also on the Jumbo Screen while we were there, which was totally awesome!
Janelle came for a visit from Maryland!
I was busy preparing for my first ever trip out of the country!!
We changed our request for our adoption from 0-24 months to 0-2 years. Not huge, but obviously significant over the next coming months. :)
June
This was probably the most significant month of my life this year!! SO much happened and I don't think I blogged about any of it nearly enough.
I left for Ethiopia at the beginning of the month and had a life changing trip.
While in Ethiopia, we got our referral for our amazingly beautiful daughter and the very next day, I got to meet her!!
After I returned from Ethiopia, I was wrecked. I didn't know how to function in life and could not get any of Ethiopia out of my mind.
Addison turned 2 years old!!
Two short weeks after I returned 'home', Adam and I were back on a plane to Ethiopia for our court date!
July
We spent the first ten days of July in Ethiopia...much like the first days of June for me!
We passed court on July 6th and Kalkidan Grace is officially our daughter!!!
We had an amazing mission trip/bonding trip in Ethiopia.
We came home, brokenhearted, to be leaving Kalkidan in Ethiopia, but God has just the right plans for us. We also brought home four host children. It was an eventful flight home. :)
August
We got submitted to Embassy for Kalkidan on August 10th!! We are waiting to be cleared by embassy.
Kalkidan's case stopped moving for a bit, so Adam and I decided it would be best for me to head to Ethiopia to visit with her. We still kept up hope that Kalkidan would be cleared to come home while I was there. I spent two weeks in Ethiopia waiting to hear about Kalkidan and then BAM. The door was closed. I had to leave without Kalkidan. It was heartbreaking.
September
September was the hardest month of my year. I was stretched and pulled more ways that I thought possible.
NOTHING about Kalkidan's case moved. It was heartbreaking yet again.
October
It was another difficult month in our house. Things were just really, really hard. Adjusting and figuring out our new normal took over everything in my life. I literally cannot remember anything we did this month. Nothing.
November
We cleared Embassy on November 6th!!!!! I tried to get to Ethiopia the next week, but for some reason, they were not taking appointments. We got our appointment for November 19th!
I left for Ethiopia on November 17th and I was back in the country that has forever stolen my heart for the fourth time in six months!!! Only God...
November 18th is the day that I picked up Kalkidan from the Transition Home for the very last time. She is our daughter FOREVER!!!!
Kalkidan and I get home on November 22nd, Thanksgiving Day!! It was a special, special day for our family. We are a family of five!!!!
Every day for the month of November, everyone in our family shared one thing that they are thankful for. It was so much fun to hear what the girls came up with and such a blessing to remember all of the things we have to be thankful for every single day.
December
We are getting used to life as a family of FIVE. I still can't believe this is my life! Having a sweet new daughter that comes from a really hard place is, well, really hard. We have all had to do some adjusting. We've been under a lot of stress and it has taken its toll on the whole family.
We did something fun and Christmas related every day until Christmas, which helped us connect as a family. The girls all really enjoyed it!
Makayla turned 5 years old on Christmas Day!
Our lives have been turned upside down this year. It has been nothing short of chaos and even though chaos comes with a lot of stress, I would not change any of it for the world.
I am SO looking forward to a new start and a fresh beginning! 2013 is going to be just as amazing as 2012, I can feel it! I'm also going to get my tattoos tomorrow that I've been waiting too long to get, so I'm pretty stinking excited about that! God is SO good and I can't wait to see what He has in store for me and for my precious family in 2013! Happy New Year!!
January
We had Makayla's 4th birthday party with family and friends! So fun!
We celebrated being DTE (Dossier To Ethiopia) for three months! We thought we were going to be on the wait list for much, much longer. Little did we know the HUGE plans God had in mind for our family of four...
We also started sponsoring our sweet boy, Habtamu, in Adami Tulu, Ethiopia!!
February
Addison started walking!!
We had a spaghetti fundraiser at my MIL's church for our adoption. It was amazing!
We celebrated our one year 'adoption talk' anniversary. :)
I announced that I would be going on a mission trip to Ethiopia in June!
We celebrated four months DTE!
We got fully funded for our referral fee for our adoption!!
March
We went to the More4Orphans summit with our good friends, Adam and Ashley. It was a life changing weekend, to say the least.
We celebrated five months DTE!
I got all my travel shots for my mission trip.
Adam and I went to a marriage conference at our church and while we were there, Makayla fell off her bike. It took all I had to not run out of church to be with my girl.
I got fully funded for my mission trip!!
April
I went to Maryland solo to see Rusty, Janelle and baby Genova! Surprise visit to Delaware to see Brian, too!
We celebrated 6 months DTE!
We went to the zoo and to the library with good friends and had good times.
We were blessed by a dear friend that announced a photography fundraiser for our adoption.
May
Adam and I both turned 28 years old!
We celebrated 7 years of marriage at Empress Taytu!
We also celebrated 7 months DTE!
I had a great Mother's Day and even had a little tea at Makayla's preschool.
We went to a Cleveland Indians game with the girls, thanks to Adam's work! We were also on the Jumbo Screen while we were there, which was totally awesome!
Janelle came for a visit from Maryland!
I was busy preparing for my first ever trip out of the country!!
We changed our request for our adoption from 0-24 months to 0-2 years. Not huge, but obviously significant over the next coming months. :)
June
This was probably the most significant month of my life this year!! SO much happened and I don't think I blogged about any of it nearly enough.
I left for Ethiopia at the beginning of the month and had a life changing trip.
While in Ethiopia, we got our referral for our amazingly beautiful daughter and the very next day, I got to meet her!!
After I returned from Ethiopia, I was wrecked. I didn't know how to function in life and could not get any of Ethiopia out of my mind.
Addison turned 2 years old!!
Two short weeks after I returned 'home', Adam and I were back on a plane to Ethiopia for our court date!
July
We spent the first ten days of July in Ethiopia...much like the first days of June for me!
We passed court on July 6th and Kalkidan Grace is officially our daughter!!!
We had an amazing mission trip/bonding trip in Ethiopia.
We came home, brokenhearted, to be leaving Kalkidan in Ethiopia, but God has just the right plans for us. We also brought home four host children. It was an eventful flight home. :)
August
We got submitted to Embassy for Kalkidan on August 10th!! We are waiting to be cleared by embassy.
Kalkidan's case stopped moving for a bit, so Adam and I decided it would be best for me to head to Ethiopia to visit with her. We still kept up hope that Kalkidan would be cleared to come home while I was there. I spent two weeks in Ethiopia waiting to hear about Kalkidan and then BAM. The door was closed. I had to leave without Kalkidan. It was heartbreaking.
September
September was the hardest month of my year. I was stretched and pulled more ways that I thought possible.
NOTHING about Kalkidan's case moved. It was heartbreaking yet again.
October
It was another difficult month in our house. Things were just really, really hard. Adjusting and figuring out our new normal took over everything in my life. I literally cannot remember anything we did this month. Nothing.
November
We cleared Embassy on November 6th!!!!! I tried to get to Ethiopia the next week, but for some reason, they were not taking appointments. We got our appointment for November 19th!
I left for Ethiopia on November 17th and I was back in the country that has forever stolen my heart for the fourth time in six months!!! Only God...
November 18th is the day that I picked up Kalkidan from the Transition Home for the very last time. She is our daughter FOREVER!!!!
Kalkidan and I get home on November 22nd, Thanksgiving Day!! It was a special, special day for our family. We are a family of five!!!!
Every day for the month of November, everyone in our family shared one thing that they are thankful for. It was so much fun to hear what the girls came up with and such a blessing to remember all of the things we have to be thankful for every single day.
December
We are getting used to life as a family of FIVE. I still can't believe this is my life! Having a sweet new daughter that comes from a really hard place is, well, really hard. We have all had to do some adjusting. We've been under a lot of stress and it has taken its toll on the whole family.
We did something fun and Christmas related every day until Christmas, which helped us connect as a family. The girls all really enjoyed it!
Makayla turned 5 years old on Christmas Day!
Our lives have been turned upside down this year. It has been nothing short of chaos and even though chaos comes with a lot of stress, I would not change any of it for the world.
I am SO looking forward to a new start and a fresh beginning! 2013 is going to be just as amazing as 2012, I can feel it! I'm also going to get my tattoos tomorrow that I've been waiting too long to get, so I'm pretty stinking excited about that! God is SO good and I can't wait to see what He has in store for me and for my precious family in 2013! Happy New Year!!
19 June 2012
REFERRAL!!
This post is long overdue, but my mind has been spinning this past week and there are so many things that we have in the works right now, it's unreal. BUT, I must get this post written!!
So I was in Ethiopia for four days, just got home from one of the best days at Korah (we moved tons and tons of red rock in the pouring African rain...it was amazing), took a shower and went downstairs in the guest house to check my email. We had some downtime before dinner so we just all hang out and try to get on the internet and stuff.
Before I left for Ethiopia, I told Adam that if we got our referral while I was gone to send me an email that says READ FIRST so that I wouldn't just skip over it and open something else. The internet in Ethiopia is not the greatest so I wanted to be sure I would get to the right emails when I could. :) Well on June 5th, I got that very email!! And right below it was the email titled Referral from our Family Coordinator at America World!! Um, I pretty much started freaking out and telling two of the girls that were on my team that I think we just got our referral!!! While I am IN Ethiopia!!!! So I'm like a bawling mess, totally screaming and freaking out. It was nuts!!
We got six pictures with our referral and I could only get three of them to open and that took f.o.r.e.v.e.r. It was painful waiting for them to load! HAHA! But it was totally worth it! She is so beautiful!! And I was staring at her pictures for the rest of the night. It was totally incredible. Every time I would look at her pictures, I couldn't believe this was really happening! I still think I'm in a little bit of shock from it all!
Somehow I got an email out to Adam giving him the cell phone number in Africa so he could call me. I have no idea how that email got through because my email never said it was sent. But he called me!! We got to talk a little bit about her history and her medical records since I couldn't load anything else on my computer. And while I was on the phone with him, my dear friend, Erin, was planning for me to be able to go SEE her!!! One of her good friends, Yonas, works for America World and they set the whole thing up for me to get to see her the next day at 10am!!! It was totally crazy and totally God!!! If Erin wouldn't have been on this trip (which she wasn't supposed to be!), I wouldn't have been able to go meet our third baby girl. Totally incredible!!!
So all night long, I just stared at her pictures. We played some game and I just had my computer in my lap the whole time staring at her. She is so gorgeous and she was smiling in every single picture. I kept thinking about how perfectly God ordained this entire thing...I was THERE when we got our referral, she is SO happy in her pictures and I get to MEET her the very next day!! Like not even 12 hours after seeing her pictures for the first time!!!
The next morning the rest of the team went to Korah while Erin and I stayed behind waiting for our driver. We headed to the transition home and I was totally freaking out the whole time. Like I really could not believe it was happening!! And just the way everything worked out so that I could actually go to meet her!! We had to wait in the office across the street for a while until Yonas got there. Then he got there and he went right in and told them that I wanted to meet Baby K. And about 10 minutes later, they brought her out to me!! I didn't cry and she totally smiled like the whole time. It was so amazing!!!!
I took her from the nanny and just held her for a while. Then I sat her down to look her over. She is just so amazing. She didn't cry at all and she was smiling! I even got picture of her smiling!! I took some videos of her and Erin took some amazing pictures that I just printed out today to carry around with me. So if you see me and you want to see pictures of our newest baby girl, just ask!! :)
I put her down to see if she can walk and she's not so good yet. But I bet by the time we get her home, she'll be walking. She has lots of teeth, too! She's got a great personality. After a while, one of the nannies opened the door and gave me her lunch to feed her. I got to feed her!!! She ate like a champ! Then she started slowing down a bit, so we stopped. And I laid her on my chest and she fell asleep in about two minutes. Oh my word, that is when I lost it. I think that's when it hit me that this wasn't just another baby in Ethiopia. This is MY BABY!!! And she fell asleep on me!!!!
So I got to rock her and hold her for quite a while and then we had to go. The driver was getting restless and our reason for being in Ethiopia wasn't for me to meet my daughter. So I got to lay her down in her crib for the rest of her nap and then we headed back to Korah. We had another incredible day at Korah, but every day in Ethiopia is incredible.
That's the story of how we got our referral while I was in Ethiopia on a mission trip. It was an unexpected addition to our trip, but such a welcome one. I am so thankful for all of the Ethiopian friends that I made while there, as well. What a huge blessing they all are to me!! My entire trip was absolutely amazing and I can't even pick what my favorite part was. Maybe one day I will be able to share more. :)
*We are not allowed to show any pictures of her face or share her name until we pass court.*
So I was in Ethiopia for four days, just got home from one of the best days at Korah (we moved tons and tons of red rock in the pouring African rain...it was amazing), took a shower and went downstairs in the guest house to check my email. We had some downtime before dinner so we just all hang out and try to get on the internet and stuff.
Before I left for Ethiopia, I told Adam that if we got our referral while I was gone to send me an email that says READ FIRST so that I wouldn't just skip over it and open something else. The internet in Ethiopia is not the greatest so I wanted to be sure I would get to the right emails when I could. :) Well on June 5th, I got that very email!! And right below it was the email titled Referral from our Family Coordinator at America World!! Um, I pretty much started freaking out and telling two of the girls that were on my team that I think we just got our referral!!! While I am IN Ethiopia!!!! So I'm like a bawling mess, totally screaming and freaking out. It was nuts!!
We got six pictures with our referral and I could only get three of them to open and that took f.o.r.e.v.e.r. It was painful waiting for them to load! HAHA! But it was totally worth it! She is so beautiful!! And I was staring at her pictures for the rest of the night. It was totally incredible. Every time I would look at her pictures, I couldn't believe this was really happening! I still think I'm in a little bit of shock from it all!
Somehow I got an email out to Adam giving him the cell phone number in Africa so he could call me. I have no idea how that email got through because my email never said it was sent. But he called me!! We got to talk a little bit about her history and her medical records since I couldn't load anything else on my computer. And while I was on the phone with him, my dear friend, Erin, was planning for me to be able to go SEE her!!! One of her good friends, Yonas, works for America World and they set the whole thing up for me to get to see her the next day at 10am!!! It was totally crazy and totally God!!! If Erin wouldn't have been on this trip (which she wasn't supposed to be!), I wouldn't have been able to go meet our third baby girl. Totally incredible!!!
So all night long, I just stared at her pictures. We played some game and I just had my computer in my lap the whole time staring at her. She is so gorgeous and she was smiling in every single picture. I kept thinking about how perfectly God ordained this entire thing...I was THERE when we got our referral, she is SO happy in her pictures and I get to MEET her the very next day!! Like not even 12 hours after seeing her pictures for the first time!!!
The next morning the rest of the team went to Korah while Erin and I stayed behind waiting for our driver. We headed to the transition home and I was totally freaking out the whole time. Like I really could not believe it was happening!! And just the way everything worked out so that I could actually go to meet her!! We had to wait in the office across the street for a while until Yonas got there. Then he got there and he went right in and told them that I wanted to meet Baby K. And about 10 minutes later, they brought her out to me!! I didn't cry and she totally smiled like the whole time. It was so amazing!!!!
I took her from the nanny and just held her for a while. Then I sat her down to look her over. She is just so amazing. She didn't cry at all and she was smiling! I even got picture of her smiling!! I took some videos of her and Erin took some amazing pictures that I just printed out today to carry around with me. So if you see me and you want to see pictures of our newest baby girl, just ask!! :)
I put her down to see if she can walk and she's not so good yet. But I bet by the time we get her home, she'll be walking. She has lots of teeth, too! She's got a great personality. After a while, one of the nannies opened the door and gave me her lunch to feed her. I got to feed her!!! She ate like a champ! Then she started slowing down a bit, so we stopped. And I laid her on my chest and she fell asleep in about two minutes. Oh my word, that is when I lost it. I think that's when it hit me that this wasn't just another baby in Ethiopia. This is MY BABY!!! And she fell asleep on me!!!!
So I got to rock her and hold her for quite a while and then we had to go. The driver was getting restless and our reason for being in Ethiopia wasn't for me to meet my daughter. So I got to lay her down in her crib for the rest of her nap and then we headed back to Korah. We had another incredible day at Korah, but every day in Ethiopia is incredible.
That's the story of how we got our referral while I was in Ethiopia on a mission trip. It was an unexpected addition to our trip, but such a welcome one. I am so thankful for all of the Ethiopian friends that I made while there, as well. What a huge blessing they all are to me!! My entire trip was absolutely amazing and I can't even pick what my favorite part was. Maybe one day I will be able to share more. :)
13 May 2012
Happy Mother's Day!
Happy Mother's Day to all the mamas out there! I had a wonderful Mother's Day!! Got a beautiful card from my precious girls. Had our moms over for dinner. Got some spending money for Ethiopia and a gorgeous flower for my porch!
Adam made us all chicken fettucine alfredo with salad and veggies. Oh man, it was so good!! Then Sarah (Adam's little sis) made us a lime cheesecake for dessert. We had a great time just hanging out and chatting it up.
Then everyone went outside to play and Addison fell and whacked her face on the ground. Poor girl! She was going after the ball and it rolled away and she fell on the pavement. :(
So, here are some pictures from our fun day.
Adam made us all chicken fettucine alfredo with salad and veggies. Oh man, it was so good!! Then Sarah (Adam's little sis) made us a lime cheesecake for dessert. We had a great time just hanging out and chatting it up.
Then everyone went outside to play and Addison fell and whacked her face on the ground. Poor girl! She was going after the ball and it rolled away and she fell on the pavement. :(
So, here are some pictures from our fun day.
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| Addison found a four leaf clover yesterday! Guess it didn't help her out too much. |
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| My precious gifts from the Lord on Mother's Day. LOVE them. |
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| And again. I am so thankful to be their Mommy. <3 |
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| Our family on Mother's Day! Don't think we forgot about our Ethiopia Baby today!! Adam was reppin' for him or her all day. :) |
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| My mom and I. I am SO thankful for her. :D |
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| My two moms. They're amazing. |
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| And here is Addison's little face. It's not keeping her spirits down, though! :) |
08 May 2012
You Know You're An Adoptive Parent When...
1. The fact that there are 143 million children without a parent to kiss them goodnight has made you lose sleep.
2. You realize DNA has nothing to do with love and family.
3. You can't watch Adoption Stories on TLC without sobbing.
4. The fact that, if 7% of Christians adopted 1 child there would be no orphans in the world, is convicting to you.
5. You spend free time surfing blogs about families who have experienced the blessing of adoption.
6. It drives you crazy when people ask you about your adopted child's "real" parents.
7. You have ever been "pregnant" with your adoptive child longer than it takes an elephant to give birth.
8. You had no idea how you would afford to adopt but stepped out in faith anyway, knowing where God calls you He will provide.
9. You have ever taken an airplane ride half-way around the world with a child you just met.
10. You believe God's heart is for adoption.
11. You realize that welcoming a child into your heart and family is one of the most important legacies you could ever leave on this earth.
12. You know what the word "Dossier" means, and you can actually pronounce it!
13. You have welcomed a social worker into the most private parts of your life.
14. You shudder when people say your child is so lucky that you adopted them, knowing full well you are the blessed one to have him or her in your life.
30 August 2011
I'm Not Adopting Because I'm A Perfect Mom.
I copied this post (word for word) from This Is Love Calling. And she says exactly what I'm feeling. It's pretty perfect.
"It's true. I'm not adopting because I'm a perfect mom. I am actually perfectly made by a perfect creator to be imperfect...and in need of a perfect savior. When I'm on the brink of insanity and being asked for the 15th time (before 9am) for a snack (yes, I serve my children breakfast) and it is taking everything in me not to scream "HOW ARE YOU HUNGRY?" but instead gently remind Little man that we JUST ate....I think....who in the world thought I was a good candidate to adopt? Well- I know who. God called me, as imperfect as I am...to be the mother to a motherless child. It's true- I may not have the earthly qualifications to win the next "Mother of the year" award- but I asked God to use ME....just as I am- and let's face it, HE probably knows me best.
So yes, I come up with excuses to skip bath night, sometimes often my children eat waffles for two out of three meals a day, their shoes smell a little "feety", and I really do need to brush that knot out of the back of my son's hair but instead I ignore it because I can't bear to hear him cry when I do.... and I have have to ask their forgiveness when I have wrongly lost patience at the end of a very very very long day....but that's what makes me imperfectly human. I am not adopting because I can handle anymore than anyone else...I know A LOT of people that I deem more capable....more organized....more energetic....and much better at remembering to clean the inside of their microwave. I'm not adopting because I'm the exception...I'm adopting because my heart has been stirred and I'm willing to give my imperfect mothering services and infinite love to one (or two) more..."
Amen. God is using me. I'm not a perfect mom right now, but the Lord has called me to be a mom to a child that doesn't have a mom. How amazing is that? I am beyond happy that He has brought us to this place. There is nowhere I'd rather be.
16 August 2011
Truth.
Well, this is very humbling. I have not been as loving towards Makayla as I need to be. As I'm called to be. I am confessing that to you all right now. I have gotten mad at her when I shouldn't have.
But, you know what? I love her. Jesus loves her. And the past few days, I have been praying that He would give me more patience and grace and love towards my sweet little girl. I haven't been perfect and I never will be. Just this morning, I got upset at her and yelled too loudly because she poured water all over my couches. That's it. Not milk, not juice. WATER. And I know I got too upset. I reacted too harshly.
I am selfish. And I need Jesus.
So, read this article, Mamas. And let your heart be moved to do everything for your babies. They need you.
http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/motherhood-is-a-calling-and-where-your-children-rank#.TiZKtHq-h4k.blogger
But, you know what? I love her. Jesus loves her. And the past few days, I have been praying that He would give me more patience and grace and love towards my sweet little girl. I haven't been perfect and I never will be. Just this morning, I got upset at her and yelled too loudly because she poured water all over my couches. That's it. Not milk, not juice. WATER. And I know I got too upset. I reacted too harshly.
I am selfish. And I need Jesus.
So, read this article, Mamas. And let your heart be moved to do everything for your babies. They need you.
http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/motherhood-is-a-calling-and-where-your-children-rank#.TiZKtHq-h4k.blogger
09 August 2011
Being A Mommy
Being a Mommy is hard work.
Today, Makayla has already made a mess with water in the bathroom on three different occasions.
Addison is getting into the crayons and eating them.
I have done three loads of laundry today.
And two loads of dishes.
My floors still aren't clean because I can't seem to find the time to do them.
I have no idea what we are going to eat for dinner.
The playroom is a mess.
I am not a perfect mother. I don't keep a perfect house.
Sometimes that bugs me, but most of the time, I get over it.
Other things need to be done.
Like, feeding my two beautiful children breakfast, lunch and dinner. Even though I have no idea what we'll be eating for dinner and it's almost 5pm.
Like, playing with them and enjoying the moment.
Like, watching Makayla color with permanent marker.
Some days I feel like I have accomplished nothing. I still have the girls' laundry to fold and I'll have to put the dishes away that are in the dishwasher.
The bathrooms still need to be cleaned, too.
But, I am constantly picking things up and putting them back where they belong.
So how is my house almost always a mess and how is everything not clean?
I guess I'm particular about where items go, but not if my floors are clean.
Oh well. I'm not a perfect mother. But, I'm darn proud of my girls.
P.S. Who wants to donate $190 to our adoption?! If you do, we'll be FULLY FUNDED to turn in our dossier!!! What an amazing blessing that would be!!!! :D
Today, Makayla has already made a mess with water in the bathroom on three different occasions.
Addison is getting into the crayons and eating them.
I have done three loads of laundry today.
And two loads of dishes.
My floors still aren't clean because I can't seem to find the time to do them.
I have no idea what we are going to eat for dinner.
The playroom is a mess.
I am not a perfect mother. I don't keep a perfect house.
Sometimes that bugs me, but most of the time, I get over it.
Other things need to be done.
Like, feeding my two beautiful children breakfast, lunch and dinner. Even though I have no idea what we'll be eating for dinner and it's almost 5pm.
Like, playing with them and enjoying the moment.
Like, watching Makayla color with permanent marker.
Some days I feel like I have accomplished nothing. I still have the girls' laundry to fold and I'll have to put the dishes away that are in the dishwasher.
The bathrooms still need to be cleaned, too.
But, I am constantly picking things up and putting them back where they belong.
So how is my house almost always a mess and how is everything not clean?
I guess I'm particular about where items go, but not if my floors are clean.
Oh well. I'm not a perfect mother. But, I'm darn proud of my girls.
P.S. Who wants to donate $190 to our adoption?! If you do, we'll be FULLY FUNDED to turn in our dossier!!! What an amazing blessing that would be!!!! :D
25 March 2011
Motherhood.
We've been very, VERY busy lately. And I love it. Sure, there are days when I don't want to do anything, but now I totally get it when other stay at home moms always have something going on and have to 'pencil' me in weeks in advance. I get it!! More on all we've been doing later. For now, I have to get this out.
So, I was talking with someone today and she asked me what I do when I'm not 'playing Mom'. And in my head I'm all, 'WHAAAAAAAAT?!?!' I know she meant well, which is why I didn't say anything to her. But, the more I thought about it, the more it bothered me. I responded with, 'I don't really do much of anything. I'm always with my girls.' And then she gave me a sad face, like woe is me. And I am not 'playing Mom'. I AM Mom. That's me. They define me. And I am completely okay with that. This is the life I chose and this is the life I want.
She doesn't have kids, so she doesn't get it. But, in all honesty, these girls are my LIFE. I get out of bed FOR them. Because of them. Makayla and Addison are why I do what I do every single day. I wouldn't have my life any other way.
Then after she said that, she said something along the lines of, 'You know, when you can pawn them off on Adam and get out for a couple hours.' Okay, I understand that moms need a break. I totally get that. There are definitely days where I feel like I'm going to punch the wall, but in the end, I know what matters. And it's my family. Getting out isn't a priority to me. Yes, I love to go out with my friends and go on dates with my husband, but my life is here. And those two precious girls. They are my heart and wherever they are, is where I want to be.
With all that being said, I do have things I like to do. I love to read, I love to take pictures, I love to sew, I love to watch movies and some tv shows. There are things I like to do.
Maybe my life isn't glamorous and maybe people that don't have their own children don't get it. But this is my life. And my girls are my heart. They are 'what I do'. They're it. I pour my life and my soul into them so that they can become better women than I will ever be. I teach them life skills every day. I tell them about Jesus and how much He loves them. I support them when they're are learning new things. I show them everything they need to know.
Yeah, I like a break sometimes, but that's not why God gave me these two blessings. He gave them to me to raise them up. Yeah, I get frustrated and I let my anger get the best of me sometimes, but that doesn't ever stop me from loving them.
Makayla and Addison, you are my everything. I will do anything for you. I have never 'played Mom' with you and I never will. I am your Mommy and I always will be.
And I don't want it any other way.
So, I was talking with someone today and she asked me what I do when I'm not 'playing Mom'. And in my head I'm all, 'WHAAAAAAAAT?!?!' I know she meant well, which is why I didn't say anything to her. But, the more I thought about it, the more it bothered me. I responded with, 'I don't really do much of anything. I'm always with my girls.' And then she gave me a sad face, like woe is me. And I am not 'playing Mom'. I AM Mom. That's me. They define me. And I am completely okay with that. This is the life I chose and this is the life I want.
She doesn't have kids, so she doesn't get it. But, in all honesty, these girls are my LIFE. I get out of bed FOR them. Because of them. Makayla and Addison are why I do what I do every single day. I wouldn't have my life any other way.
Then after she said that, she said something along the lines of, 'You know, when you can pawn them off on Adam and get out for a couple hours.' Okay, I understand that moms need a break. I totally get that. There are definitely days where I feel like I'm going to punch the wall, but in the end, I know what matters. And it's my family. Getting out isn't a priority to me. Yes, I love to go out with my friends and go on dates with my husband, but my life is here. And those two precious girls. They are my heart and wherever they are, is where I want to be.
With all that being said, I do have things I like to do. I love to read, I love to take pictures, I love to sew, I love to watch movies and some tv shows. There are things I like to do.
Maybe my life isn't glamorous and maybe people that don't have their own children don't get it. But this is my life. And my girls are my heart. They are 'what I do'. They're it. I pour my life and my soul into them so that they can become better women than I will ever be. I teach them life skills every day. I tell them about Jesus and how much He loves them. I support them when they're are learning new things. I show them everything they need to know.
Yeah, I like a break sometimes, but that's not why God gave me these two blessings. He gave them to me to raise them up. Yeah, I get frustrated and I let my anger get the best of me sometimes, but that doesn't ever stop me from loving them.
Makayla and Addison, you are my everything. I will do anything for you. I have never 'played Mom' with you and I never will. I am your Mommy and I always will be.
And I don't want it any other way.
01 January 2011
2010: Year In Review
2011 is just a few hours away and I really wanted to write my overview of 2010. It was a great year. Sure, there were some pretty awful parts, but not every year is perfect. I am SO looking forward to 2011, though!
January 2010
We spent New Years at my dad's and I'm pretty sure I went to bed waaaaay before midnight. I was pregnant and I wasn't with Adam, so it was pretty sad anyway.
Makayla and I were in Ohio for half of January. She just turned 2 years old in December and I relished all my moments with her being an only child.
I went back to school this month. Only took one class, but it seemed like so much more with being pregnant and taking care of a toddler 24/7.
February 2010
We found out our baby was another girl!!!
We went to Vintage Cafe for Valentine's Day and after that we went to a bonfire. I felt human again! I was really getting into a funk about being in the house so much, so it was really great.
We took M to Build-A-Bear for Valentine's Day. She loved it!
Adam felt the baby (now known as Addison!) kick for the first time!!
I tried my hand at potty training. It didn't work out, but I wasn't super committed, so it didn't work out. Yet.
I started getting the baby's room ready. Very exciting.
March 2010
Makayla started wearing underwear full time at the end of the month. She did great and we never went back!
We took Makayla to the Sacramento Zoo and had such a fun time! She loved all the animals so much.
I guess that's really the only thing that happened in March! HA!
April 2010
We got to see our friends, Karisa and Audrey. They used to live in California, but then had to move to Colorado because of the military. We had so much fun spending the day with them!!
We went on Makayla's first Easter Egg hunt at our neighborhood park. It was so fun to watch her try to find the eggs on her own. She did an excellent job, too!
We dyed eggs for the first time with Makayla. She had so much fun. She even drew on some of them with the magic crayon. We may have broken a couple from dropping them too hard into the cup. :/
We finger painted for the first time ever and she had so much fun!
We took a trip to San Diego at the end of the month to visit Brian, Ron and Lisa. It was our last trip before Addison was born! The drive was long, but as usual, M did wonderful! While we were in SD, we got to meet up with my friend, Tracy, from high school and meet her son, Braylon. It was so much fun to go out to eat and then go to the beach and hang out with her.
I went out with my girls to celebrate my birthday in just a few short days. We went to the Old Spaghetti Factory in some town...I can't remember where. It was a blast, though!
May 2010
May 1st was my baby 'sprinkle' that my neighbor, Heather, threw for me at her house. It was amazing to spend the whole day with my dear friends that love me so very, very much. Afterwards, I was extremely tired, but that night, Adam and I were surprised with a surprise (HA!) party from our awesome friend, Brian. He threw it at our friends, Josh and Brenna, house. He even had it planned that two people would stay with M for half an hour at a time (it was within walking distance) so that we didn't have to worry about her. It was awesome. And we were both totally surprised.
Celebrated mine and Adam's 26th birthdays! (May 2nd and May 3rd) We went to a museum in San Francisco for free because we had a birthday within the last 7 days. It was pretty rad. We got to see Saturn, as in the planet. Totally rad.
We also celebrated our five year anniversary on May 7th! I got an amazing emerald ring from Adam. We went to see Iron Man 2, after eating at Red Lobster.
Had a 3D ultrasound for Addison the next day and it was awesome!!
Celebrated Mother's Day, but we didn't really do much since there were so many other things to celebrate. Fine by me. I just got to relax. Plus I had flowers. :D
Got some family/maternity photos done while I was still feeling up to it.
My Aunt Debbie passed away in May. It was really sad for me, because I don't remember the last time I saw her.
Went for the labor and delivery tour at the hospital where Addison was born. It took way too long and we already knew everything the class told us. We should have just gone to see the facilities.
June 2010
Well, we all know the biggest and most important thing that happened in June...Addison Riley was born on June 23rd at 11:51am!!! It was amazing. Astounding. Wonderful. Joyful. And I am blessed. We are so lucky that she is here. She had a rough first couple days of her life. You can read about it here, if you want.
My mom came to visit before that...well actually for that. So she came out to be with me for the birth and to take care of Makayla while I was at the hospital. Such a huge blessing and an amazing help!
Went to the hospital on the 17th because I was having some pains and thought I might be in labor. Turns out, I wasn't. Oh well. It was kinda fun to lay in the hospital for a few hours and think that maybe, just maybe, I'd be having this baby.
I had multiple freak outs about what I was doing to Makayla by having another baby. Not so much fun, but clearly things have worked out just fine for us. And for her. :D
Got dissed by a lady that works at Carter's. You can read that post here, if you're interested. Obviously I'm still bitter.
M went to her very first movie in the theaters with Daddy! She had such a fun time. They went to see Toy Story 3.
July 2010
My first full month as a mommy of two!! I survived it, since I'm writing this. HA!
My mom left to go back to Ohio. So sad. But this is when we started contemplating the move to Ohio...for good!
We went to the California State Fair. It was very, very hot. And we had two children. Addison slept for most of it and Makayla was good because she always is, but it was hot. Adam won M a stuffed animal, but really just ended up paying $15 for a piece of crap. She still loved it, though!
Adam took Makayla swimming and she got totally obsessed with it, which is awesome. He tried to teach her how to swim and she went under once and I freaked, but she didn't! She just came right back up.
Addi rolled over from her belly to her back for the first time! YAY!
My dad came to visit and meet little miss Addison.
August 2010
Makayla and I had a little date, just for fun. We went to Barnes and Noble to have a cupcake and read books together. She loved it. I loved it.
Adam's mom, brother and sister came to visit and meet Addi. His dad, stepmom and one of his stepsisters came to visit at a different time, as well.
We found out that we were for sure moving to Ohio. Very exciting! But we still had a LONG wait ahead of us. Adam went to Ohio for an interview, too.
We started letting Addison cry it out. It was not fun. But it worked. This is also the month that she slept through the night for the first time!! Way sooner than M ever did!
September 2010
Addison found her voice for the first time which is always fun. I love babies. Especially when they're mine. <3
She also laughed for the first time. Which is probably better than hearing her talk. Oh that laugh.
We moved to Ohio!!! Finally! I felt like the wait was FOREVER. And then everything happened all at once and it went FAST. It was a whirlwind, but a great one.
October 2010
We moved into our new house in Ohio. Well, Adam moved in for us since I was in Pennsylvania.
My grandpa passed away in October. It was extremely sad, but at least he isn't hurting anymore.
Addison had her first Halloween and Makayla went Trick or Treating for the first time! She was the most beautiful princess I have ever seen.
I started doing reviews on my blog. And got in over my head.
I cut my hair and donated it to Locks of Love. 12 inches. Gone.
Addison started rolling from her back to her belly. Big stuff around here!
November 2010
We went to Virginia for Thanksgiving, which happened to be Addi's first!
She also ate oatmeal for the first time in November.
Then the giveaways started coming in. Even further over my head.
December 2010
Had our first snowfall on the first. So much fun!
Addison turned 6 months old two days before Christmas! Insanity. She also tried a sippy cup for the first time on the 22nd. We'll get there.
Makayla turned 3 years old on Christmas! I still can't believe it. This time three years ago, I was nursing a teeny tiny newborn. Now I nurse a 6 month old.
Addi celebrated her first Christmas and she loved to eat the wrapping paper.
I also hosted my very first Christmas and had an amazing time. My brother and sister-in-law got to spend time with the girls, which is always cool.
I made baby food for the first time on the 30th. It wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. I'm pretty proud of myself. Now I just need to stock up so that I don't run out. I made peas and apples yesterday. It was kinda fun, actually.
Addison ate peas for the first time today. At lunch. Yes, we also added another feeding into her days. I'm getting brave, I know! She's gotta grow up sometime, right?!
She also kinda sat up on her own today. And then fell over. :)
Well, I think that about sums up 2010. Since it's already the New Year here, Happy New Year! Praying peace and blessings upon each and every one of you. I have a lot of things that I intend to get accomplished in 2011. It's gonna be a great one, you know. :D
January 2010
We spent New Years at my dad's and I'm pretty sure I went to bed waaaaay before midnight. I was pregnant and I wasn't with Adam, so it was pretty sad anyway.
Makayla and I were in Ohio for half of January. She just turned 2 years old in December and I relished all my moments with her being an only child.
I went back to school this month. Only took one class, but it seemed like so much more with being pregnant and taking care of a toddler 24/7.
February 2010
We found out our baby was another girl!!!
We went to Vintage Cafe for Valentine's Day and after that we went to a bonfire. I felt human again! I was really getting into a funk about being in the house so much, so it was really great.
We took M to Build-A-Bear for Valentine's Day. She loved it!
Adam felt the baby (now known as Addison!) kick for the first time!!
I tried my hand at potty training. It didn't work out, but I wasn't super committed, so it didn't work out. Yet.
I started getting the baby's room ready. Very exciting.
March 2010
Makayla started wearing underwear full time at the end of the month. She did great and we never went back!
We took Makayla to the Sacramento Zoo and had such a fun time! She loved all the animals so much.
I guess that's really the only thing that happened in March! HA!
April 2010
We got to see our friends, Karisa and Audrey. They used to live in California, but then had to move to Colorado because of the military. We had so much fun spending the day with them!!
We went on Makayla's first Easter Egg hunt at our neighborhood park. It was so fun to watch her try to find the eggs on her own. She did an excellent job, too!
We dyed eggs for the first time with Makayla. She had so much fun. She even drew on some of them with the magic crayon. We may have broken a couple from dropping them too hard into the cup. :/
We finger painted for the first time ever and she had so much fun!
We took a trip to San Diego at the end of the month to visit Brian, Ron and Lisa. It was our last trip before Addison was born! The drive was long, but as usual, M did wonderful! While we were in SD, we got to meet up with my friend, Tracy, from high school and meet her son, Braylon. It was so much fun to go out to eat and then go to the beach and hang out with her.
I went out with my girls to celebrate my birthday in just a few short days. We went to the Old Spaghetti Factory in some town...I can't remember where. It was a blast, though!
May 2010
May 1st was my baby 'sprinkle' that my neighbor, Heather, threw for me at her house. It was amazing to spend the whole day with my dear friends that love me so very, very much. Afterwards, I was extremely tired, but that night, Adam and I were surprised with a surprise (HA!) party from our awesome friend, Brian. He threw it at our friends, Josh and Brenna, house. He even had it planned that two people would stay with M for half an hour at a time (it was within walking distance) so that we didn't have to worry about her. It was awesome. And we were both totally surprised.
Celebrated mine and Adam's 26th birthdays! (May 2nd and May 3rd) We went to a museum in San Francisco for free because we had a birthday within the last 7 days. It was pretty rad. We got to see Saturn, as in the planet. Totally rad.
We also celebrated our five year anniversary on May 7th! I got an amazing emerald ring from Adam. We went to see Iron Man 2, after eating at Red Lobster.
Had a 3D ultrasound for Addison the next day and it was awesome!!
Celebrated Mother's Day, but we didn't really do much since there were so many other things to celebrate. Fine by me. I just got to relax. Plus I had flowers. :D
Got some family/maternity photos done while I was still feeling up to it.
My Aunt Debbie passed away in May. It was really sad for me, because I don't remember the last time I saw her.
Went for the labor and delivery tour at the hospital where Addison was born. It took way too long and we already knew everything the class told us. We should have just gone to see the facilities.
June 2010
Well, we all know the biggest and most important thing that happened in June...Addison Riley was born on June 23rd at 11:51am!!! It was amazing. Astounding. Wonderful. Joyful. And I am blessed. We are so lucky that she is here. She had a rough first couple days of her life. You can read about it here, if you want.
My mom came to visit before that...well actually for that. So she came out to be with me for the birth and to take care of Makayla while I was at the hospital. Such a huge blessing and an amazing help!
Went to the hospital on the 17th because I was having some pains and thought I might be in labor. Turns out, I wasn't. Oh well. It was kinda fun to lay in the hospital for a few hours and think that maybe, just maybe, I'd be having this baby.
I had multiple freak outs about what I was doing to Makayla by having another baby. Not so much fun, but clearly things have worked out just fine for us. And for her. :D
Got dissed by a lady that works at Carter's. You can read that post here, if you're interested. Obviously I'm still bitter.
M went to her very first movie in the theaters with Daddy! She had such a fun time. They went to see Toy Story 3.
July 2010
My first full month as a mommy of two!! I survived it, since I'm writing this. HA!
My mom left to go back to Ohio. So sad. But this is when we started contemplating the move to Ohio...for good!
We went to the California State Fair. It was very, very hot. And we had two children. Addison slept for most of it and Makayla was good because she always is, but it was hot. Adam won M a stuffed animal, but really just ended up paying $15 for a piece of crap. She still loved it, though!
Adam took Makayla swimming and she got totally obsessed with it, which is awesome. He tried to teach her how to swim and she went under once and I freaked, but she didn't! She just came right back up.
Addi rolled over from her belly to her back for the first time! YAY!
My dad came to visit and meet little miss Addison.
August 2010
Makayla and I had a little date, just for fun. We went to Barnes and Noble to have a cupcake and read books together. She loved it. I loved it.
Adam's mom, brother and sister came to visit and meet Addi. His dad, stepmom and one of his stepsisters came to visit at a different time, as well.
We found out that we were for sure moving to Ohio. Very exciting! But we still had a LONG wait ahead of us. Adam went to Ohio for an interview, too.
We started letting Addison cry it out. It was not fun. But it worked. This is also the month that she slept through the night for the first time!! Way sooner than M ever did!
September 2010
Addison found her voice for the first time which is always fun. I love babies. Especially when they're mine. <3
She also laughed for the first time. Which is probably better than hearing her talk. Oh that laugh.
We moved to Ohio!!! Finally! I felt like the wait was FOREVER. And then everything happened all at once and it went FAST. It was a whirlwind, but a great one.
October 2010
We moved into our new house in Ohio. Well, Adam moved in for us since I was in Pennsylvania.
My grandpa passed away in October. It was extremely sad, but at least he isn't hurting anymore.
Addison had her first Halloween and Makayla went Trick or Treating for the first time! She was the most beautiful princess I have ever seen.
I started doing reviews on my blog. And got in over my head.
I cut my hair and donated it to Locks of Love. 12 inches. Gone.
Addison started rolling from her back to her belly. Big stuff around here!
November 2010
We went to Virginia for Thanksgiving, which happened to be Addi's first!
She also ate oatmeal for the first time in November.
Then the giveaways started coming in. Even further over my head.
December 2010
Had our first snowfall on the first. So much fun!
Addison turned 6 months old two days before Christmas! Insanity. She also tried a sippy cup for the first time on the 22nd. We'll get there.
Makayla turned 3 years old on Christmas! I still can't believe it. This time three years ago, I was nursing a teeny tiny newborn. Now I nurse a 6 month old.
Addi celebrated her first Christmas and she loved to eat the wrapping paper.
I also hosted my very first Christmas and had an amazing time. My brother and sister-in-law got to spend time with the girls, which is always cool.
I made baby food for the first time on the 30th. It wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. I'm pretty proud of myself. Now I just need to stock up so that I don't run out. I made peas and apples yesterday. It was kinda fun, actually.
Addison ate peas for the first time today. At lunch. Yes, we also added another feeding into her days. I'm getting brave, I know! She's gotta grow up sometime, right?!
She also kinda sat up on her own today. And then fell over. :)
Well, I think that about sums up 2010. Since it's already the New Year here, Happy New Year! Praying peace and blessings upon each and every one of you. I have a lot of things that I intend to get accomplished in 2011. It's gonna be a great one, you know. :D
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