Kindergarten Orientation.

It's amazing how going to a meeting about signing your first child up for Kindergarten can make you all nostalgic. We went to this meeting tonight...for the first time in my life. I will have a Kindergartener. I know it's probably not that huge to most of you, but to me, it's huge. I just can't believe that Makayla is five years old and next year she will be in school all. day. long.

So we went to orientation tonight and I got overwhelmed with information. I still don't know what I'm supposed to do to get her set up, but I'm sure I'll figure it out! While we were there, they were talking about the kids riding the bus and I immediately thought, 'We don't live that far from the school! I'll take her every day. No biggie!' Then Adam asks her if she wants to ride the bus or have Mommy take her and she says, 'The bus!!', with MUCH enthusiasm I might add. And I literally started to tear up when I heard her say that. I just can't imagine her getting on that bus every day for school. I can't. And yet, next school year, we'll be doing just that.

Right now she goes to preschool three days a week for two hours each time. Not much time away from her Mommy. We spend all of our days together. Granted, I don't always use my time with my children wisely like I should, but we are always together. I get frustrated more than I should. I get angry more than I should. I get annoyed more than I should.

And today I realized how quickly time passes. My baby, the one who made me a Mommy, will be in Kindergarten this August. It makes me sad. It will be so hard for me to let her go even though there are times right now where I can't wait for her to be in school all day long. It stings to write those words. That I can't wait for her to be gone. Because once that time comes, there is no going back. She will be in school more than she will be at home with me.

Have I done everything I have wanted to do with her? I know she's still here and obviously she will still be living at home for a long, long time, but going from spending all of our days together to just not is going to be very difficult for me. And for her, I'm sure. She loves preschool right now, but it's such a small dose that going all day, every day will be a huge transition. I know that if we need to, we can pull her out and I can homeschool her. It wouldn't be my ideal situation because I know how easily stressed I get and I don't think I'm the most suitable teacher for my girls, but if things get crazy, we always have that option. That's good to remember.

I need to focus on the positive more than the negative. I'm not sure why that's so difficult for me. I'm exploring it all right now...looking internally a lot. Why I do the things I do even when I don't want to do them. It's hard. I'm in a hard place right now. Wanting all this time to myself yet wanting my babies near. I clearly can't live in both worlds and I need to stop being so selfish with my time. I need to enjoy my children while they are still here. I need to figure out how to get Makayla to be comfortable sharing her feelings with me so that when issues do come up, she knows she can talk to me about it. I don't ever want her to feel like she can't confide in me. Sure our relationship will change over time. I always want our home to be a place that my daughters can come and just rest. That they can freely talk without ever feeling judged or like I'm trying to change their mind on something. I want them to just be. How do I do that? I'm not sure yet. I clearly haven't done a very good job so far in her little life because she covers her ears all the time and then I end up giving up and just yelling about whatever is going on. That's the problem right now. I fly off the handle so quickly that my girls know that I'm not emotionally stable. They have no idea how I will react to the same situation every time. What a sad place for them to live. And for me to live.

Whew. Obviously this is a lot. I wasn't trying to go down this rabbit hole, but it happened. Apparently I needed to get this stuff off my mind and on to some paper, of sorts. If I want my girls to confide in me and be able to talk to me, I need to have more self-control. It's SO hard for me. This is undeniably what God is teaching me in this season of life. Thank the Lord that my time is not up yet. That Makayla IS still at home more than she's not. That I CAN change my attitude towards life. That I CAN have more self-control. That I CAN teach my girls the right way to live.

Told you kindergarten orientation messed me up big time.

2012 Recap.

2012 has been quite a year for our little family! We have had some pretty significant changes come this year and there is no way I could be any more thankful! We have been beyond blessed and I'm really looking forward to seeing what 2013 has in store for all of us!! So, here's my little recap of 2012 for us...

January
We had Makayla's 4th birthday party with family and friends! So fun!
We celebrated being DTE (Dossier To Ethiopia) for three months! We thought we were going to be on the wait list for much, much longer. Little did we know the HUGE plans God had in mind for our family of four...
We also started sponsoring our sweet boy, Habtamu, in Adami Tulu, Ethiopia!!

February
Addison started walking!!
We had a spaghetti fundraiser at my MIL's church for our adoption. It was amazing!
We celebrated our one year 'adoption talk' anniversary. :)
I announced that I would be going on a mission trip to Ethiopia in June!
We celebrated four months DTE!
We got fully funded for our referral fee for our adoption!!

March
We went to the More4Orphans summit with our good friends, Adam and Ashley. It was a life changing weekend, to say the least.
We celebrated five months DTE!
I got all my travel shots for my mission trip.
Adam and I went to a marriage conference at our church and while we were there, Makayla fell off her bike. It took all I had to not run out of church to be with my girl.
I got fully funded for my mission trip!!

April
I went to Maryland solo to see Rusty, Janelle and baby Genova! Surprise visit to Delaware to see Brian, too!
We celebrated 6 months DTE!
We went to the zoo and to the library with good friends and had good times.
We were blessed by a dear friend that announced a photography fundraiser for our adoption.

May
Adam and I both turned 28 years old!
We celebrated 7 years of marriage at Empress Taytu!
We also celebrated 7 months DTE!
I had a great Mother's Day and even had a little tea at Makayla's preschool.
We went to a Cleveland Indians game with the girls, thanks to Adam's work! We were also on the Jumbo Screen while we were there, which was totally awesome!
Janelle came for a visit from Maryland!
I was busy preparing for my first ever trip out of the country!!
We changed our request for our adoption from 0-24 months to 0-2 years. Not huge, but obviously significant over the next coming months. :)

June
This was probably the most significant month of my life this year!! SO much happened and I don't think I blogged about any of it nearly enough.
I left for Ethiopia at the beginning of the month and had a life changing trip.
While in Ethiopia, we got our referral for our amazingly beautiful daughter and the very next day, I got to meet her!!
After I returned from Ethiopia, I was wrecked. I didn't know how to function in life and could not get any of Ethiopia out of my mind.
Addison turned 2 years old!!
Two short weeks after I returned 'home', Adam and I were back on a plane to Ethiopia for our court date!

July
We spent the first ten days of July in Ethiopia...much like the first days of June for me!
We passed court on July 6th and Kalkidan Grace is officially our daughter!!!
We had an amazing mission trip/bonding trip in Ethiopia.
We came home, brokenhearted, to be leaving Kalkidan in Ethiopia, but God has just the right plans for us. We also brought home four host children. It was an eventful flight home. :)

August
We got submitted to Embassy for Kalkidan on August 10th!! We are waiting to be cleared by embassy.
Kalkidan's case stopped moving for a bit, so Adam and I decided it would be best for me to head to Ethiopia to visit with her. We still kept up hope that Kalkidan would be cleared to come home while I was there. I spent two weeks in Ethiopia waiting to hear about Kalkidan and then BAM. The door was closed. I had to leave without Kalkidan. It was heartbreaking.

September
September was the hardest month of my year. I was stretched and pulled more ways that I thought possible.
NOTHING about Kalkidan's case moved. It was heartbreaking yet again.

October
It was another difficult month in our house. Things were just really, really hard. Adjusting and figuring out our new normal took over everything in my life. I literally cannot remember anything we did this month. Nothing.

November
We cleared Embassy on November 6th!!!!! I tried to get to Ethiopia the next week, but for some reason, they were not taking appointments. We got our appointment for November 19th!
I left for Ethiopia on November 17th and I was back in the country that has forever stolen my heart for the fourth time in six months!!! Only God...
November 18th is the day that I picked up Kalkidan from the Transition Home for the very last time. She is our daughter FOREVER!!!!
Kalkidan and I get home on November 22nd, Thanksgiving Day!! It was a special, special day for our family. We are a family of five!!!!
Every day for the month of November, everyone in our family shared one thing that they are thankful for. It was so much fun to hear what the girls came up with and such a blessing to remember all of the things we have to be thankful for every single day.

December
We are getting used to life as a family of FIVE. I still can't believe this is my life! Having a sweet new daughter that comes from a really hard place is, well, really hard. We have all had to do some adjusting. We've been under a lot of stress and it has taken its toll on the whole family.
We did something fun and Christmas related every day until Christmas, which helped us connect as a family. The girls all really enjoyed it!
Makayla turned 5 years old on Christmas Day!

Our lives have been turned upside down this year. It has been nothing short of chaos and even though chaos comes with a lot of stress, I would not change any of it for the world.

I am SO looking forward to a new start and a fresh beginning! 2013 is going to be just as amazing as 2012, I can feel it! I'm also going to get my tattoos tomorrow that I've been waiting too long to get, so I'm pretty stinking excited about that! God is SO good and I can't wait to see what He has in store for me and for my precious family in 2013! Happy New Year!!

Day 30: Being Thankful.

Today I am thankful that Jesus has saved my life. I'm thankful that He died for my sins so that I could be saved. I'm thankful to know Him on a personal level and that He loves me deeply.

He loves you deeply, too! Did you know that? Because it's so true.

I'm also thankful that we can share the Truth with our children and show them the love of Christ every single day.

We are beyond blessed and so thankful for all that we have been given.

I have loved doing this for the past month, though some days were harder to think of something to be thankful for. NOT that we don't have TONS to be thankful for, because we do. But once you start writing a post a day, it gets hard to put it down in words. But, I did it! And I'm happy that I can now look back and see the things that I have been thankful for this month.

I have a new thing I'm going to start next month (tomorrow!) and I'm pretty excited about it. I think I'm only going to do it on Facebook, but we'll see. I might share here, too. :)

Thank You, Jesus, for saving me!!!!

Day 29: Being Thankful.

I'm thankful that despite Adam's car not starting yesterday morning, he could use my car and still go to work.

We tend to take for granted the little things...like having two working cars and then when one goes awry, we don't know what we're going to do. So, even though Makayla didn't get to go to preschool today because we only had one car, at least Adam could still get to work. And we made the most of the day with Nana. :)

I'm also thankful that it was something very small (the battery cable) that was the problem, so we don't have to shell out money for something huge. Hopefully it will be done tomorrow and we'll presume life as planned. :D

Day 28: Being Thankful.

I'm thankful that even though we haven't gone grocery shopping in over a week, we still have PLENTY of food in the fridge AND the pantry. We might not have had the most extravagant meal for dinner (scrambled eggs, sausage and cut up veggies...we were out of bread, so that was it), but we still got to eat something.

I think I was already thankful for having food, but I am again. So there. :)

We tend to forget that if we don't have what we want in the fridge or the pantry that we have nothing to eat, except that isn't the case at all. Throughout our adoption process (and saving every penny we can) I am learning that we have to eat things that we don't really want to eat. Because you know what? You won't remember what it tasted like 5 minutes later anyway. But your belly will still be full.

Be thankful today.

Day 27: Being Thankful.

Today I'm thankful for sewing. I LOVE sewing. I love getting to make stuff from a piece of fabric. It sounds totally grandma-ish, but I swear it's totally cool. ;)

The other day I was sewing something and Makayla was watching me and she asked me what my sewing machine was, so I told her. Then when I started sewing, she said, 'Wow, Mom! That is so cool!!' And I told her I can teach her how to sew when she gets older and she got totally excited. That's what I love.

Sewing is totally rad. I'm no pro. I pretty much just do straight lines, but today, I mended (so grandma!) some clothes and for Christmas, I made Addison a pillow and blanket for her bed. And I made Makayla a pillow and blanket for her baby dolls. Oooooh, maybe I should make her some clothes for her baby dolls...

(P.S. Check out our newest fundraiser!!! http://almcrock.blogspot.com/2011/11/adoption-fundraiser.html )

Day 26: Being Thankful.

I am thankful for THE best day with my family. We had an amazing time today.

We had a 3 1/2 hour drive to go to Emma's 2nd birthday party. And on the way was Grandpa's Cheesebarn! So, as per the new family tradition, we stopped!! The girls had a blast and we love taste testing everything. :)

Then, we stopped at McDonald's for some lunch and I had my first ever BigMac! Yep, I never had one before that. It was aight.

We then trekked on for another 2 1/2 hours and got to Adam and Ashley's right when the festivities were starting. We got some great food and then....

The miniature horses came for the kids to ride on!! Makayla and Addison both went on. Makayla LOVED it. I mean, LOVED. Emma and Makayla were pretty much the only kids that rode those things. HAHA! It was pretty awesome, though. And I was the photographer for the day, so I got some great shots that I'll post once I get them.

After the horses left, Emma opened her presents and we had cake. It was a ton of fun! And we had so much fun getting to see our fabulous friends and celebrate their precious daughter's life. AND getting to see baby Ethan, too! :)

On the way home, we stopped at Fazoli's for dinner because I haven't eaten there in 11 years!! And as soon as we walked in, I told Adam that it smelled just like I remember it smelling when I worked there in high school. Ah, the memories! And yes, it was every bit as delicious as I remember it!

We still had about 3 hours left after that and we were just hoping and praying that the girls would fall asleep. Well, Makayla wanted her Doggy BAD. And she left it at home. So she kept yelling 'Doggy!!' over and over and over and over and over again. Adam was getting annoyed, so I suggested that he think it's like a soothing song by Enya or something. Well, that led to us singing 'Doggy' to tunes of other songs. Like Dave Matthews Band, Kenny G, Elvis, The Beatles, Star Wars, etc. It was hilarious!!! I was in tears it was so funny. It probably doesn't sound that awesome, but Adam and I were cracking up.

So the girls eventually fell asleep. We got home close to 9:30, put them in bed and just landed on the couch to rest.

I love perfect days with my family. They rock.

Day 25: Being Thankful.

Today I am beyond thankful that since November 16th, we have gotten at least one donation per day to our adoption. At least. Isn't that amazing?!

Our ticker has been going up significantly this month and I LOVE it!!!

Thank you SO very much to everyone that has donated for no reason, has bought something from us or has entered our raffle!!! We appreciate it so much and we are so thankful that God is moving to bring this baby home!!! :)

P.S. Check out our raffle and get some entries in!!! http://almcrock.blogspot.com/2011/11/adoption-fundraiser.html

Day 24: Being Thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I'm thankful that we could spend today with our family. It was an awesome day of cooking all day long and getting to hang out with some of the best people ever.

We had a blast (except when Makayla almost vomited at the table!) and made some new memories.

Also, I make a mean pumpkin pie. :)

I'm so happy that we live in Ohio and can spend holidays with our loved ones. It's pretty much the greatest.

Day 23: Being Thankful.

I am thankful that Addison is 17 months old today! She is so big! I can't believe she has been here for 17 months already. But at the same time, it seems like she has been here forever!

She still isn't walking, but she LOVES to hold our hands and walk all over the place. She looks up at us with this HUGE grin on her face and it is beyond precious.

She says no to pretty much every food known to man. She hates fruits and vegetables and loves carbs. I don't know where she got that from! ;)

She pulls herself up on everything and she loves to walk while pushing her toy stroller.

She adores her big sister and her big sister adores her, too. There is the occasional fight, but they're siblings, so yeah.

She sleeps with Monk-Monk and Leop-Leop. A monkey and a leopard. She usually throws them out of the crib before she's asleep, though.

She loves to read books upside down.

She waves bye bye every time we leave someone or something.

She still isn't saying anything except Mama (rarely!), Dada and Nana. We're working on it.

She survived her first double ear infection this month. She has been sick almost the entire month of November. Poor babe.

She's pretty much the coolest baby ever. And we will be celebrating her second Thanksgiving tomorrow! Woohoo!!

Day 22: Being Thankful.

I'm thankful that my mom is near me. She is such a huge help with EVERYTHING!

She came over today to go grocery shopping for Thanksgiving. THEN, after she put all of my groceries away, she proceeded to put my clean dishes from the dishwasher away AND THEN fill it up with dirty ones. AND clean the ones by hand that wouldn't fit! Yep, told you. She is amazing.

I love her so much and I am so thankful that I get to be close to her. Especially while her grand babies are so little.

Day 21: Being Thankful.

Today I'm thankful that we have food to eat every day. I think we seriously take for granted that we have food on our table every day. But, you know what? There are tons of people all over the world (yes, even in the United States) that don't have that luxury. We take it for granted and we really shouldn't.

So enjoy your dinners tonight. And pray for someone that doesn't have any food to eat.

Also, I'm really looking forward to Thanksgiving!!! We are hosting it at our house this year and I'm totally excited about it! Can't wait to eat all that delicious food, too. :)

Day 20: Being Thankful.

I'm thankful for being able to go to church. We had the best church service I've heard since we've started going to our new church. It was really great and totally spoke to me.

I'm thankful that we don't get persecuted for our faith. And I'm thankful that our church is so willing to help others.

Day 19: Being Thankful.

Today I am thankful that I got to eat Ethiopian food for the second time! It was amazing and everything I wanted it to be.

I love everything about Ethiopia. It's glorious. :)

Day 18: Being Thankful.

Today I am thankful for Breaking Dawn Part 1. AND getting to go see it with my mama! I love going to the movies and getting to veg out for a little bit...entering another world and forgetting about this screwed up one for a while. Yes, it was glorious.

I loved the movie and can't wait for the next, and final, one to come out. BUT, it doesn't come out until November 16th, 2012! GAH! Anyway, I'm thankful for that today. :)

Day 17: Being Thankful.

Today I am thankful for precious little newborns. Our friends, Adam and Ashley, had their sweet baby boy yesterday and we went to see him tonight after Adam got home from work. He is gorgeous!!

I held him for 45 minutes and it seemed far too short. He is just so precious and beautiful. AND he is a FIGHTER. He had a rough start to life, but he will do great things, I am SURE of it!

I love newbies. They are too sweet and smell delicious. And they have the most glorious skin. Oh, baby skin. Yum.

Day 16: Being Thankful.

Today I am thankful for selling things on the internet!! Today, we sold a beautiful ring and necklace set of mine to raise money for our adoption. We also sold a book and a DVD set. WAHOO for more money coming in!

God has been so faithful in our adoption journey and every time I list something on eBay or Amazon, I pray over it and that it will sell. Well, we still have lots of stuff up there that hasn't sold yet, but I know it will right when it needs to.

Keep watching those tickers go UP, UP, UP!!! It's also awesome because we are still getting donations for Adam's run coming in. I love this!

So, I'm thankful for the interwebz. :)

Day 15: Being Thankful.

I am thankful for Makayla's hilarious sayings today. She is so frackin' funny, that girl. She comes up with the most hilarious things daily. We are constantly cracking up because of how awesome she is.

Anyway, she made up this thing a few days ago where she makes 'fry cakes' in her little kitchen. So, Adam asked her what's in a fry cake.

Her response?

"Like doggy food and doggies and cakes and...whatever you guys want!"

This child is priceless. I love her sense of humor. :)

Day 14: Being Thankful.

Today I am thankful that we are ONE MONTH DTE!!!!! Today is our monthly anniversary for being DTE and I am so thrilled that we have already been DTE for one month. I know that's not much in the grand scheme of things and the wait times have been tossed around as being longer and stuff, but still, every month is one step closer. And you know I'll be counting every month!!

One month down, lots more to go! We're going to enjoy this wait as much as we can. :)

P.S. DTE=Dossier To Ethiopia

Day 13: Being Thankful.

I'm thankful for beds. I've been laid up in bed sick all day long. So today I'm thankful for our sweet, beautiful, glorious bed.

Selfish? Maybe. But, I'm still thankful.