Do you ever forget how long it's been since you changed your sheets?
Do you ever wish you had a better pillow so your neck wasn't broken every morning?
Do you ever remember that you have an abundance of pillows, and even though one may hurt your neck, at least you have one (or a thousand)?
Do you ever want to go out to eat just because you don't want to make dinner?
Do you ever hate taking a shower every day because it just takes so darn long?
Do you ever have a pantry full of groceries and complain that there's nothing to eat?
Do you ever just want to drink pop all day instead of water?
Do you ever get really frustrated with your kids and can't stand to be around them for even a second more?
Do you ever wish that your house would stay clean for more than a minute?
Do you ever wish the laundry and dishes would just stop piling up?
Do you ever not want to make dinner?
Do you ever feel jealous of those moms that look like they have it all together?
Do you ever want to be one of those moms even though you know it isn't really true?
Do you ever feel like your whole life might need a makeover?
Do you ever have a massive list of projects to get done and somehow none of them ever get done?
Do you ever look at your living room and feel so very, very blessed that you have two beautiful children that made it look like a tornado went through it?
Do you ever think about stuff that you're sure nobody else thinks about?
Do you ever wonder how to fix a situation and come up completely clueless?
Do you ever wonder why your children do such nasty things sometimes?
Do you ever remember that it's because you do those nasty things and they see it?
Do you ever see your children loving each other so deeply and beautifully that it makes you cry?
Do you ever want to give more of yourself to everyone in need?
Do you ever feel like you're not doing enough?
Do you ever wish you had more money to buy more things?
Do you ever think how selfish that is and how you need to focus on bigger things?
Do you ever get sick and tired of hearing people complain about the littlest things?
Do you ever think that people just need to be happy?
Do you ever hope that people would know just how really great they have it?
Do you ever get annoyed when your neighbor mows his yard nearly every day during nap time?
Do you ever think you have too many things distracting you from what's really important?
Do you ever feel like you might watch too many tv shows and it's time to cut some out?
Do you ever want to just stare at the wall?
Do you ever just want to be in Ethiopia so bad that you think your heart might explode out of your chest if you don't get there, like, yesterday?
Do you ever have no idea how you're going to handle what you're going to see in Ethiopia?
Do you ever wonder what you're going to do with all that you see there once you get home?
Do you ever think about how drastically different your life will be once you return home?
Do you ever think about how nobody else around you is going to understand what you went through, no matter how much they want to know about your trip?
Well, I do.
Showing posts with label Random. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Random. Show all posts
05 May 2012
25 January 2012
Peace That Surpasses All Understanding.
I had a pretty fabulous day today. And some things happened that I think are noteworthy. You might not think they're that special and, really, they aren't. But I enjoyed my day.
Went to the library with my mom and the girls. I had three books waiting for me! And now there's another one waiting. Yay!!! :) I also found the greatest kid's book ever. It's been on my list of books to purchase, but I hadn't ever read the whole thing. So, we're walking around the kid's section for M and Addi to get some books and I just look over and there is sitting God Found Us You!!! Right in front of me! It was definitely there for me. :) And I have to say that I'm in love with it!!!!
Then, headed to near Adam's work to meet him, Brennan and Kristen for lunch for Brennan's birthday today. We ate a really good restaurant. I had a havarti dill cheese and artichoke sandwich. SO GOOD.
On the way to the restaurant (I was by myself since my mom kept the girls for me. :D) I was just singing along to my music and I look over and there is the funniest bumper sticker I have ever seen.
It said:
Stuck In Ohio
BAHAHAHA!!! It still cracks me up!!!!
So then I'm getting lost in the city because parking is insane and whatever and then I see it...steam coming out of the sewers!!!!! I was beyond thrilled, you guys!! I really only thought that happened in New York! That and the bumper sticker totally made my whole day awesome.
I went to pick up the girls and Makayla was not happy. About anything. P.S. She's 4 years and 1 month old today! Anyway, not happy. So, I'm trying to calm her down and talk to her and find out what's wrong with her, etc., etc., etc. None of it is working. Eventually, I somehow get her coat on her and got her to the car. I don't think she stopped screaming and crying at all, but then she was crying the. whole. way. home. BUT, through it all, I was totally calm. I didn't try to talk to her (because she wouldn't have heard me or been listening anyway), I didn't yell at her, I just listened to my music and praised Jesus in that moment. It was pretty ironic because the song was Bring The Rain by Mercy Me. I'm putting the song up here so you can see the irony. It was beautiful that in that moment, while my daughter is screaming her lungs out, I could just praise Jesus, with my hand lifted high. You know, because the other hand was on the wheel.
"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:7
Then nap time happened. Well, Makayla and I implemented 'Quiet Time' yesterday, so that's what we do with her now. She hasn't actually napped for a few months, but she still must go in her room and all that. But, it was not fun. She hated being in there and we hated trying to force her to nap. I know she still needs that rest time, so we have Quiet Time. And I go upstairs and get her after 1.5 hours. So far, so good. We also have to lock the doors to our bedroom and her bathroom because she will destroy them. She squeeze toothpaste everywhere, splashes water on everything, puts Vaseline on EVERYTHING, etc. So, we lock the doors and when she has to go potty, we go up and take her. Gotta pick your battles...and decide what you want to clean up, yet again! HA!
Anyway, today has been wonderful. We also got an amazing donating from some friends that are also adopting. I love that. I really, really love it. :)
Went to the library with my mom and the girls. I had three books waiting for me! And now there's another one waiting. Yay!!! :) I also found the greatest kid's book ever. It's been on my list of books to purchase, but I hadn't ever read the whole thing. So, we're walking around the kid's section for M and Addi to get some books and I just look over and there is sitting God Found Us You!!! Right in front of me! It was definitely there for me. :) And I have to say that I'm in love with it!!!!
Then, headed to near Adam's work to meet him, Brennan and Kristen for lunch for Brennan's birthday today. We ate a really good restaurant. I had a havarti dill cheese and artichoke sandwich. SO GOOD.
On the way to the restaurant (I was by myself since my mom kept the girls for me. :D) I was just singing along to my music and I look over and there is the funniest bumper sticker I have ever seen.
It said:
Stuck In Ohio
BAHAHAHA!!! It still cracks me up!!!!
So then I'm getting lost in the city because parking is insane and whatever and then I see it...steam coming out of the sewers!!!!! I was beyond thrilled, you guys!! I really only thought that happened in New York! That and the bumper sticker totally made my whole day awesome.
I went to pick up the girls and Makayla was not happy. About anything. P.S. She's 4 years and 1 month old today! Anyway, not happy. So, I'm trying to calm her down and talk to her and find out what's wrong with her, etc., etc., etc. None of it is working. Eventually, I somehow get her coat on her and got her to the car. I don't think she stopped screaming and crying at all, but then she was crying the. whole. way. home. BUT, through it all, I was totally calm. I didn't try to talk to her (because she wouldn't have heard me or been listening anyway), I didn't yell at her, I just listened to my music and praised Jesus in that moment. It was pretty ironic because the song was Bring The Rain by Mercy Me. I'm putting the song up here so you can see the irony. It was beautiful that in that moment, while my daughter is screaming her lungs out, I could just praise Jesus, with my hand lifted high. You know, because the other hand was on the wheel.
"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:7
Then nap time happened. Well, Makayla and I implemented 'Quiet Time' yesterday, so that's what we do with her now. She hasn't actually napped for a few months, but she still must go in her room and all that. But, it was not fun. She hated being in there and we hated trying to force her to nap. I know she still needs that rest time, so we have Quiet Time. And I go upstairs and get her after 1.5 hours. So far, so good. We also have to lock the doors to our bedroom and her bathroom because she will destroy them. She squeeze toothpaste everywhere, splashes water on everything, puts Vaseline on EVERYTHING, etc. So, we lock the doors and when she has to go potty, we go up and take her. Gotta pick your battles...and decide what you want to clean up, yet again! HA!
Anyway, today has been wonderful. We also got an amazing donating from some friends that are also adopting. I love that. I really, really love it. :)
16 January 2012
Rare Form.
Makayla was in rare form today. Ugh, it was a rough day.
I think we all have 'em, so you can leave your judgement at the door, kthanks.
She was defiant in every sense of the word. Would not listen to anything I said. Didn't ask for anything, just demanded it. It was a difficult day. Not to mention that I was tired from staying up a bit too late last night. Those things just don't mix.
Somehow we got through the day. Somehow we made it until Daddy got home. And then I bolted. HAHA! Not really. I made dinner first. Then I left. :) I have a standing Monday night date with my mom to watch The Bachelor! And tonight was Drama City!
I also made a new camera strap cover today. It's gorgeous. No seriously. I still have to take pictures of it, but they'll be posted soon! I'm so in love with it!
Next on my list this week is to finish my styrofoam Christmas trees (I know, it's January! Next year...) and make my sewing machine cover. I'm excited!
So here's to a new day tomorrow. Makayla has preschool and I'm learning that those two days a week two hour breaks are definitely in order for her and I. She loves getting out and doing something and I love spending time with just Addison. It's much needed for both of us. We always come back together refreshed and renewed.
We've got a busy week this week. Something going on every day (except today) which is also rare! HA! I like busy weeks. It makes the time pass quicker and the weekends come faster!
Since we all love photos, here are two from a few days ago.
I think we all have 'em, so you can leave your judgement at the door, kthanks.
She was defiant in every sense of the word. Would not listen to anything I said. Didn't ask for anything, just demanded it. It was a difficult day. Not to mention that I was tired from staying up a bit too late last night. Those things just don't mix.
Somehow we got through the day. Somehow we made it until Daddy got home. And then I bolted. HAHA! Not really. I made dinner first. Then I left. :) I have a standing Monday night date with my mom to watch The Bachelor! And tonight was Drama City!
I also made a new camera strap cover today. It's gorgeous. No seriously. I still have to take pictures of it, but they'll be posted soon! I'm so in love with it!
Next on my list this week is to finish my styrofoam Christmas trees (I know, it's January! Next year...) and make my sewing machine cover. I'm excited!
So here's to a new day tomorrow. Makayla has preschool and I'm learning that those two days a week two hour breaks are definitely in order for her and I. She loves getting out and doing something and I love spending time with just Addison. It's much needed for both of us. We always come back together refreshed and renewed.
We've got a busy week this week. Something going on every day (except today) which is also rare! HA! I like busy weeks. It makes the time pass quicker and the weekends come faster!
Since we all love photos, here are two from a few days ago.
 |
| She was dancing. :) |
12 January 2012
05 January 2012
Randomosity.
I have tried to start two different books today. And they didn't interest me, so I put them back down. And I don't feel bad about it. I picked up another one and I'm starting that one instead. From Ashes to Africa.
I've started writing my random stuff in a notebook. I have so many thoughts that go through my head daily, that if I don't write them down somewhere, I'll probably explode. It's done wonders for my brain space! Now I don't have to remember (and think about all.the.time) that I want to spray paint my picture frames or to add that movie to my Netflix queue. It's all written down! I did find this idea on Pinterest and I'm so glad I did! It's really helped a lot.
I've had three kids for the day. Thankfully, my mom came over this morning so that I could take M to preschool. They're all napping right now and it's so peaceful.
I'm trying to figure out what car seat will fit in between Makayla's booster seat and Addison's rear facing, convertible seat. We have a Honda Pilot and I reeeeeeally don't want to have to go the mini van route if I don't have to. Plus, I'd rather drop a couple hundred on a car seat than multiple thousands on a car, you know what I mean?! Anybody know a seat that will fit in the middle? It's a tight space, I'm not gonna lie...
I have a couple books I want to order on Amazon. And lucky for me, I have some Christmas money left over! Wahoo!! :)
I guess that's probably all I have to write today. Can you tell I'm bored without Facebook? I've been doing laundry and dishes and feeding babies and changing diapers and putting down for naps and cleaning up all day, though. So there's that.
I've started writing my random stuff in a notebook. I have so many thoughts that go through my head daily, that if I don't write them down somewhere, I'll probably explode. It's done wonders for my brain space! Now I don't have to remember (and think about all.the.time) that I want to spray paint my picture frames or to add that movie to my Netflix queue. It's all written down! I did find this idea on Pinterest and I'm so glad I did! It's really helped a lot.
I've had three kids for the day. Thankfully, my mom came over this morning so that I could take M to preschool. They're all napping right now and it's so peaceful.
I'm trying to figure out what car seat will fit in between Makayla's booster seat and Addison's rear facing, convertible seat. We have a Honda Pilot and I reeeeeeally don't want to have to go the mini van route if I don't have to. Plus, I'd rather drop a couple hundred on a car seat than multiple thousands on a car, you know what I mean?! Anybody know a seat that will fit in the middle? It's a tight space, I'm not gonna lie...
I have a couple books I want to order on Amazon. And lucky for me, I have some Christmas money left over! Wahoo!! :)
I guess that's probably all I have to write today. Can you tell I'm bored without Facebook? I've been doing laundry and dishes and feeding babies and changing diapers and putting down for naps and cleaning up all day, though. So there's that.
03 January 2012
Favorite.
I think this is my favorite Improv video ever. I discovered it years ago and rediscovered it today on Color Me Katie's blog (check it!) and I'm still in love.
07 August 2011
Busy Weekend!
Adam, the girls and I have been nonstop all weekend long. It seems that this happens more often than not these days. Most of the time, I'm okay with it. But sometimes, I just need to breathe. I usually have a lot of downtime during the week, so it's not too bad when the weekends come. Today, I'm just tired.
Adam had Friday off...he gets every other Friday off, which is a huge blessing! Adam and Makayla went to the hospital to see our friend that has been there for the past few weeks. She's getting better...praise the Lord! I stayed home with Addison while she napped all the day long.
As most of you know, I've given up Facebook for one month. I started my fast on Friday and it has been going VERY well so far. For anyone that is contemplating it, just go for it!! It is SO refreshing to not be on there for hours at a time!! I have gotten SO much more done during the past three days than I have in probably the past three weeks. It's kinda crazy and embarrassing to admit, but I spent waaaaaaaaay too much time on there...keeping up with everyone else's lives, while mine just passed me by. I'm already contemplating deleting it all together! We'll see. :)
So, I gave it up mostly because it was too much of an addiction for me and I knew it was just getting worse. I also gave it up because I have had too many bad things happen because of Facebook. FB can be a great avenue for love and support, but it can also crush people. So, I'm done for one month. And it's SO freeing!!!! :D
On Saturday, we took the girls to the fair. Yep, we went again. I had to go back with my hubs! We had so much fun, even though it was blistering hot. The girls loved it. We got some more fries and lemonade. We also tried Deep Fried Oreos. UM, YUM. The most delicious thing I've ever eaten! It was amazing. After the fair, we were all pretty beat, so it was Crockett Family Naptime!! Which was awesome. Saturday night, I went to my stepbrother's wedding celebration thing. I got to see my brother and sister in law and we had a blast!! We got to hang out and talk, which I love doing. I took M with me and she had so much fun with her step cousins. We got home a little after 10 and Miss M fell asleep in the car. I also sold three shirts yesterday...so thank you Nate, Rose and Lisa!!! We're getting closer!!!
Today we went to church and then stayed for the lunch thingy afterwards, which was nice. Our friends, Adam and Summer, are coming over for dinner later. I love hanging out with them. We actually got to see them this past Tuesday for Adam's birthday...sushi!! They are such great friends.
And this past Wednesday, we went to our friend Brennan's house for his little brother's graduation party. I love hanging out with Brennan and Kristen, too! They have been there for us for EVERYTHING since we have moved back home. I still can't believe we only met them in December! It's amazing how quickly friendships can flourish and become something amazing.
So, now I'm going to relax while the girls sleep. I have been awful about keeping up with our every day lives on this bloggy blog. I have a lot of reviews and giveaways coming up soon, which I have been slacking on. My bust. I have a lot of funny things that Makayla and Addison say and do that I need to write down. I'm slacking, but I'm hoping that my FB addiction can be nipped in the bud so that I can focus on the more important things...like updating my blog! :)
Adam had Friday off...he gets every other Friday off, which is a huge blessing! Adam and Makayla went to the hospital to see our friend that has been there for the past few weeks. She's getting better...praise the Lord! I stayed home with Addison while she napped all the day long.
As most of you know, I've given up Facebook for one month. I started my fast on Friday and it has been going VERY well so far. For anyone that is contemplating it, just go for it!! It is SO refreshing to not be on there for hours at a time!! I have gotten SO much more done during the past three days than I have in probably the past three weeks. It's kinda crazy and embarrassing to admit, but I spent waaaaaaaaay too much time on there...keeping up with everyone else's lives, while mine just passed me by. I'm already contemplating deleting it all together! We'll see. :)
So, I gave it up mostly because it was too much of an addiction for me and I knew it was just getting worse. I also gave it up because I have had too many bad things happen because of Facebook. FB can be a great avenue for love and support, but it can also crush people. So, I'm done for one month. And it's SO freeing!!!! :D
On Saturday, we took the girls to the fair. Yep, we went again. I had to go back with my hubs! We had so much fun, even though it was blistering hot. The girls loved it. We got some more fries and lemonade. We also tried Deep Fried Oreos. UM, YUM. The most delicious thing I've ever eaten! It was amazing. After the fair, we were all pretty beat, so it was Crockett Family Naptime!! Which was awesome. Saturday night, I went to my stepbrother's wedding celebration thing. I got to see my brother and sister in law and we had a blast!! We got to hang out and talk, which I love doing. I took M with me and she had so much fun with her step cousins. We got home a little after 10 and Miss M fell asleep in the car. I also sold three shirts yesterday...so thank you Nate, Rose and Lisa!!! We're getting closer!!!
Today we went to church and then stayed for the lunch thingy afterwards, which was nice. Our friends, Adam and Summer, are coming over for dinner later. I love hanging out with them. We actually got to see them this past Tuesday for Adam's birthday...sushi!! They are such great friends.
And this past Wednesday, we went to our friend Brennan's house for his little brother's graduation party. I love hanging out with Brennan and Kristen, too! They have been there for us for EVERYTHING since we have moved back home. I still can't believe we only met them in December! It's amazing how quickly friendships can flourish and become something amazing.
So, now I'm going to relax while the girls sleep. I have been awful about keeping up with our every day lives on this bloggy blog. I have a lot of reviews and giveaways coming up soon, which I have been slacking on. My bust. I have a lot of funny things that Makayla and Addison say and do that I need to write down. I'm slacking, but I'm hoping that my FB addiction can be nipped in the bud so that I can focus on the more important things...like updating my blog! :)
05 August 2011
23 March 2011
25 February 2011
What?
I'm never good at coming up with blog post titles. It's never been my strong suit. Hence the name of this post.
So anyway, I've had a lot on my mind lately. I haven't taken my daily photographs. I haven't even taken my camera everywhere with me. I just have a lot on my mind. Good, bad, indifferent. I feel weighed down. It's like a good/bad thing. And I can't explain it. But, God is moving and that is always amazing to see.
I still have to write Addison's 8 month post. Yeah, my baby turned 8 months old! I can't believe it! And I have to write Makayla's 3 year 2 month post. Today! Be on the lookout for both of those, but Addi's will be back dated...the 23rd. I'm sneaky like that. :)
I also still need to do my review/giveaway posts. Ugh, I am so behind. I'll catch up. I always do.
For now, I leave you with the verse I've been resting in these past few days.
So anyway, I've had a lot on my mind lately. I haven't taken my daily photographs. I haven't even taken my camera everywhere with me. I just have a lot on my mind. Good, bad, indifferent. I feel weighed down. It's like a good/bad thing. And I can't explain it. But, God is moving and that is always amazing to see.
I still have to write Addison's 8 month post. Yeah, my baby turned 8 months old! I can't believe it! And I have to write Makayla's 3 year 2 month post. Today! Be on the lookout for both of those, but Addi's will be back dated...the 23rd. I'm sneaky like that. :)
I also still need to do my review/giveaway posts. Ugh, I am so behind. I'll catch up. I always do.
For now, I leave you with the verse I've been resting in these past few days.
"But these things I plan won't happen right away.
Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled.
If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place.
It will not be late by a single day."
-Habakkuk 2:3
Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled.
If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place.
It will not be late by a single day."
-Habakkuk 2:3
11 February 2011
The Next Best Thing.
Do you ever feel like you're constantly waiting for the next best thing to happen? Like, if this happened, then I'll be happy.
If I lost those last 5 pounds, then I'll be happy.
If I move out of this place, then I'll be happy.
If I get my degree, then I'll be happy.
If I get everything done on my to do list, then I'll be happy.
If I get all the laundry done, then I'll be happy.
For me, it's moving into our new house. Then I'll be happy. I'm waiting for my craft room. Right now, everything is all over the place. My scrapbooking stuff is in Makayla's closet AND downstairs. My sewing stuff is in the kitchen (packed away) AND in our bedroom, strewn all over the place.
I have things that I'm saving specifically for our new house. Like these bath salts that I got from one of my reviews. We have a bath tub here, but I don't use it. But in our new house, we're getting a garden tub in our master bathroom, so I'm saving them for then. Maybe I'll miraculously start taking baths or something.
We haven't hung anything on the walls here because we know that we're moving in a few months. It's kinda sad, but we decided not to hang anything so we wouldn't have to patch up the holes when we leave. We also have boxes (in the garage and basement) that haven't been unpacked yet. We just figured, 'why unpack it just to pack it again?'. And it's clearly stuff we don't need/use because we haven't needed it yet. Though Adam did find is sweaters in there, so maybe that's where my bathroom trash cans are? Hmmm....
Anyway, I'm so sick of living in the future. Why? Why do I do that to myself? Why can't I live in the present? Today is a present and I need to start thinking like that every day. Today is a gift. And I want to unwrap it and soak it all in. Every day.
I'm also sick of not doing stuff because I'm worried about schedules and Makayla not getting her nap and me not getting my alone time. I think it's good for moms to have time to themselves, but I make it a HUGE priority for M to get her nap every day and I even make her wait to go to sleep until Addison's second nap, JUST so I can get some time to myself. That's probably awful, but it's my sanity time. I know M can get through the day without a nap. I hate it and she's not the most well behaved little girl by the end of the day, but we can do it. And sometimes that needs to happen so that we can go do something else. I'm sick of being confined to these four walls. Sick of it.
I want to live. I don't want to have such a defeatist attitude about, um, everything. I can do it. I can take my girls out BY MYSELF and everything will be fine. I know I really limit myself on most things. Like, for instance, M doesn't like to wear her coat in the car, so I don't make her. Well, then when we get to the store or to my mom's house, I have to put it on her and it takes 1,000 times longer. And when we go to my mom's, I just carry her in without her coat on. But, if she had her coat on when we got there, I could get both the girls in at the same time.
I know I'm going off on a tangent, but it's just really bothering me. I can do this. I can do stuff. I'm sick of 'living' in these four walls. Adam and I never take the girls anywhere when he gets home from work. Never. It's so sad. And I know it would be really good for Makayla to go out and see the world.
So, I'm just sick of it. And I'm going to change it. I'm not waiting for tomorrow or for my house to be built (which really has nothing to do with not going anywhere, but that's where I started this) or for the girls to get older.
I'm doing it today. I'm going to find things for us to do. I will go to the store with both of them.
And you know what?
It's all gonna be fine. I've been the limit on my own life and no more.
No freaking more.
If I lost those last 5 pounds, then I'll be happy.
If I move out of this place, then I'll be happy.
If I get my degree, then I'll be happy.
If I get everything done on my to do list, then I'll be happy.
If I get all the laundry done, then I'll be happy.
For me, it's moving into our new house. Then I'll be happy. I'm waiting for my craft room. Right now, everything is all over the place. My scrapbooking stuff is in Makayla's closet AND downstairs. My sewing stuff is in the kitchen (packed away) AND in our bedroom, strewn all over the place.
I have things that I'm saving specifically for our new house. Like these bath salts that I got from one of my reviews. We have a bath tub here, but I don't use it. But in our new house, we're getting a garden tub in our master bathroom, so I'm saving them for then. Maybe I'll miraculously start taking baths or something.
We haven't hung anything on the walls here because we know that we're moving in a few months. It's kinda sad, but we decided not to hang anything so we wouldn't have to patch up the holes when we leave. We also have boxes (in the garage and basement) that haven't been unpacked yet. We just figured, 'why unpack it just to pack it again?'. And it's clearly stuff we don't need/use because we haven't needed it yet. Though Adam did find is sweaters in there, so maybe that's where my bathroom trash cans are? Hmmm....
Anyway, I'm so sick of living in the future. Why? Why do I do that to myself? Why can't I live in the present? Today is a present and I need to start thinking like that every day. Today is a gift. And I want to unwrap it and soak it all in. Every day.
I'm also sick of not doing stuff because I'm worried about schedules and Makayla not getting her nap and me not getting my alone time. I think it's good for moms to have time to themselves, but I make it a HUGE priority for M to get her nap every day and I even make her wait to go to sleep until Addison's second nap, JUST so I can get some time to myself. That's probably awful, but it's my sanity time. I know M can get through the day without a nap. I hate it and she's not the most well behaved little girl by the end of the day, but we can do it. And sometimes that needs to happen so that we can go do something else. I'm sick of being confined to these four walls. Sick of it.
I want to live. I don't want to have such a defeatist attitude about, um, everything. I can do it. I can take my girls out BY MYSELF and everything will be fine. I know I really limit myself on most things. Like, for instance, M doesn't like to wear her coat in the car, so I don't make her. Well, then when we get to the store or to my mom's house, I have to put it on her and it takes 1,000 times longer. And when we go to my mom's, I just carry her in without her coat on. But, if she had her coat on when we got there, I could get both the girls in at the same time.
I know I'm going off on a tangent, but it's just really bothering me. I can do this. I can do stuff. I'm sick of 'living' in these four walls. Adam and I never take the girls anywhere when he gets home from work. Never. It's so sad. And I know it would be really good for Makayla to go out and see the world.
So, I'm just sick of it. And I'm going to change it. I'm not waiting for tomorrow or for my house to be built (which really has nothing to do with not going anywhere, but that's where I started this) or for the girls to get older.
I'm doing it today. I'm going to find things for us to do. I will go to the store with both of them.
And you know what?
It's all gonna be fine. I've been the limit on my own life and no more.
No freaking more.
10 February 2011
Zumba, Photos and Babies.
Went to Zumba tonight. My 'abs' are hurting already. But the good hurt. Hurts so good. I love Zumba. It's so frackin' fun. Even though I have no rhythm (fun word!) and no coordination, I still enjoy it.
We were doing this one move tonight where you bring your knees up high, like a march type move. And it made me think about the first morning in Basic Training when I got sent to the 'doghouse' (behind the flight AND the road guards) because I couldn't stay in step. I kept making everyone around me mess up. Yeah, it was bad. And I had to laugh tonight because I really have no movement skills. HA! Also tonight the instructor kept starting with her left foot (you do the same in marching) and I kept screwing that up. I was like, what the hey? I can freaking do this, dude! I made it out of BMT and I definitely learned how to march like a freaking pro. The best part is? I wasn't even the worst marcher (is that a word?)!!! They made this one chick stand right next to the huge (HUGE) speakers and keep time. She couldn't do it and I'm pretty sure she got recycled. Makes me feel better. Which is probably mean of me, but whatevs. It does. And did.
I hate over edited photos. HATE 'em. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love to edit pictures, but there is such a thing as doing too much. And it happens a lot. Can't we just leave well enough alone, people? If you like the shot SOOC, then leave it alone. That's my motto. Though I did have this very dark shot of Addi today and I edited it and made it brighter and it looks 1000 times better. For realskie. And lately, I've really been a fan of the SOOC photos. Not all of 'em, but most of 'em. Seriously, why mess with a good thing? And then to mess with it OVER THE TOP? So not good. Or maybe I'm just jealous because I don't have Photoshop?
It's so weird how different having a second kid is from your first. With Makayla, I documented EVERYTHING. And relished in it all. With Addison, I still relish, just not for as long. And I have no idea what day she sat unsupported for the first time. I mean, she does it all the time now, but every once and a while, she topple over still. Either way, it's just interesting to me how different having two children is from having one. And the other day, it slipped my mind whether Addison had already had peaches or not. I'm still not sure. With M, ALL of that was written down. Still is. She has a calendar in her box o' stuff that has every single food she ever ate in her first year on it.
In conclusion, I love Zumba, normal photos and my baby girls. It's really late here and I still have Mockingjay to read!!
We were doing this one move tonight where you bring your knees up high, like a march type move. And it made me think about the first morning in Basic Training when I got sent to the 'doghouse' (behind the flight AND the road guards) because I couldn't stay in step. I kept making everyone around me mess up. Yeah, it was bad. And I had to laugh tonight because I really have no movement skills. HA! Also tonight the instructor kept starting with her left foot (you do the same in marching) and I kept screwing that up. I was like, what the hey? I can freaking do this, dude! I made it out of BMT and I definitely learned how to march like a freaking pro. The best part is? I wasn't even the worst marcher (is that a word?)!!! They made this one chick stand right next to the huge (HUGE) speakers and keep time. She couldn't do it and I'm pretty sure she got recycled. Makes me feel better. Which is probably mean of me, but whatevs. It does. And did.
I hate over edited photos. HATE 'em. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love to edit pictures, but there is such a thing as doing too much. And it happens a lot. Can't we just leave well enough alone, people? If you like the shot SOOC, then leave it alone. That's my motto. Though I did have this very dark shot of Addi today and I edited it and made it brighter and it looks 1000 times better. For realskie. And lately, I've really been a fan of the SOOC photos. Not all of 'em, but most of 'em. Seriously, why mess with a good thing? And then to mess with it OVER THE TOP? So not good. Or maybe I'm just jealous because I don't have Photoshop?
It's so weird how different having a second kid is from your first. With Makayla, I documented EVERYTHING. And relished in it all. With Addison, I still relish, just not for as long. And I have no idea what day she sat unsupported for the first time. I mean, she does it all the time now, but every once and a while, she topple over still. Either way, it's just interesting to me how different having two children is from having one. And the other day, it slipped my mind whether Addison had already had peaches or not. I'm still not sure. With M, ALL of that was written down. Still is. She has a calendar in her box o' stuff that has every single food she ever ate in her first year on it.
In conclusion, I love Zumba, normal photos and my baby girls. It's really late here and I still have Mockingjay to read!!
03 January 2011
Another 2010 Recap
Saw this on someone else's blog so I stole it and am doing it for my year now. :)
1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
Gave birth to Addison.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't think I made any last year, but I have a HUGE list for this year. That post'll be up later.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I did. So that's pretty close to me.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes. My aunt and my grandpa.
5. What countries did you visit?
North America. That is all.
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you didn’t have in 2010?
50 lbs. less on my body. A 3 1/2 year old and a 1 year old. :)
7. What dates from 2010 will be etched upon your memory, and why?
Giving birth to my sweet second daughter. Watching Makayla turn 3 years old. I still can't believe it.
8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?
Seriously. It was giving birth for the second time. I mean, I pushed her out in 3 minutes, so it wasn't an achievement, per se, but it was still awesome.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being as good of a mother as I should be. And thinking that moving to Ohio would fix how I was feeling in California. It hasn't.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Cloth diapers.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Makayla's. She got potty trained and listens so well...most of the time.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Um, really? I don't know.
14. Where did most your money go?
Cloth diapers. HA! And my girls. Because duh.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Having another baby!!
16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
"We R Who We R" by Ke$ha and "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
a. same
b. fatter
c. poorer
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Working out.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Getting pissed about stupid crap.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
At our house. I hosted it for my mom, stepdad, brother and sister-in-law. It was awesome. And of course, we celebrated M's birthday.
21. What was your favorite TV program?
Grey's Anatomy. Private Practice.
22. What was the best book you read?
Oh geez, I don't know. I read a lot in 2010. But most of them were silly books. Not bad, just didn't really change my life or anything.
23. What did you want and get?
A Kindle and a sewing machine! Both for Christmas!!
24. What did you want and not get?
To be skinnier (my own fault) and to be more patient. Also my fault.
25. What was your favorite film of 2010?
Eclipse.
26. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
On my birthday, I stayed home, I think. The night before, we were thrown a surprise party by our good friend, Brian. It was awesome. I turned 26.
27. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Losing 50 lbs. without having to stop eating or work out.
28. Who did you miss?
I missed my friends in Ohio, but I'm quickly learning that they don't want to hang out with me, just as much as my Cali friends didn't want to, either. Pretty much sucks.
29. Who was the best new person you met?
I didn't meet anyone new.
30. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
Don't expect people to be there for you. Sounds harsh, but it's true. I expect WAY too much out of my friends and I'm always let down. It blows because I really thought moving to Ohio would be different. I mean, it has in some ways. Adam and I get to go out a lot more thanks to my mom, but I don't ever see people during the day, like I thought I would. Bummer.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)