14 January 2015

A Little Slice of Heaven.

My girls had their usual nap time today and it was unusually quiet in Addi's room. When I came upstairs to wrangle the girls, I peeked in Addison's room and there she was. Laying on her chair with her pillow and blanket. Fast asleep. The most precious thing I've ever seen. My little Nap Bandit.

I went and got the other two, got them set up with snacks downstairs and came back up to try and snag another picture of my sleeping beauty. And BAM. She woke up and started yelling at me. So I asked if she wanted me to go and she said no. I asked if she wanted me to hold her and she said yes. Now, my girls are typically not good nappers. If they wake up, they are UP. There's no getting them back to sleep. So when Addi said yes, I scooped her up as fast as I could before she could change her mind.

I sat in the chair with her sprawled across my entire body and rocked and rocked and rocked. We were like two puzzle pieces that were never meant to be apart. Her face nuzzled in my left shoulder and my head snug against hers. It was beautiful. I soaked in every single moment.

My phone was right there. I could have easily gotten on Facebook or Instagram or read some mindless article. But I decided in that moment to just soak it up. My babies are not so little anymore. Sure, they're still little in the grand scheme of life, but they aren't teeny tiny fresh newborns that snuggle on their Mama's chest anymore. And oh boy, how I miss those times. A fresh little baby snuggled on your chest in the middle of the night.

And this afternoon took me right back. I had flashbacks of holding Addison as a teeny little itty bitty thing. In that very same chair that is still in her room. And then I came back to this moment that we were sharing. This moment of her at four and a half and me at thirty and I cherished it. I can't even remember the last time I held her like that and she fell asleep on me. It has been so long.

She rolled over a few times during our hour of me rocking and her sleeping. I thought every time that she would wake up, but she didn't. Her sisters were in the playroom being not so quiet, but we powered through. We had our time today and it was glorious. Her little arms draped across my chest, just like when she was a baby. It was my slice of heaven for today. Possibly for the year.

It's amazing what happens when you're just PRESENT, ya know? Today was that for me. Just being there in the moment. Not worrying or thinking about anything else. Staring at her teeny hands and her small body scrunched up against mine. Looking at her hair draped all over her back and her face. Hearing her ever so slight snore. I'm telling you I breathed in every moment of that hour and I don't regret a second of it. I don't regret the other things I could have been doing. I don't regret anything I missed in any other part of our world. I don't regret it at all. It's exactly where I was supposed to be. Oh man, I can't even tell you how amazing it was. This is a memory I will hold in my heart forever.

And then right at the end, she rolled over one last time and mid roll said, 'Love you.' I melted all over the floor. Someone come sweep me up because I'm still laying there in her room. On the floor. Melted.

This time is fleeting, mamas. Soak up your sweet babies and their precious little heads for as long as you can. Moments like these always remind me how fast our little ones grow up. It's too fast! I'm so thankful that I got to savor an hour today.

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