Six Years.

Dear Makayla,

Today you are six years old. I can't believe how quickly these six years have gone by. I'm sure I say it every year, but I just can't. It amazes me how fast it all goes. I have learned so much from you in your short six years on this earth. I've learned how to love unconditionally. I've learned not to care what other people think about me. I've learned that sometimes you just need to dance. I've learned that jokes that make no sense are one of the simplest and best joys in life. I've learned that you can be tiny but have a huge opinion and make yourself heard. I've learned that living outside of yourself is truly the only way to live.

You are an amazing little girl and my life would never be the same without you in it. You say the most hilarious things I've ever heard in my life. Like today when we were eating lunch and we gave you sparking apple cider you said, 'Is this apple milk?!' And then when you wanted more, you said, 'Can I have some more of that bubbly juice?' You crack me up on a daily basis and I can't imagine life without you.

You are the best big sister to your little sisters. So many times today I have heard you share your toys with them...your brand new toys. That's love. You always randomly just run up and hug them. You came over and hugged each of us after every gift you got from us this morning. You have such a tender and caring heart.

I've seen you cry over more things than I can count. I am so sorry for the hurts that I have caused you in your life, but know that there will be more. And I'm already sorry for them. I don't ever want to see you cry, yet I know it's a part of life. Your tears break your mama's heart in ways you can't even know is possible until you have your own sweet baby one day. You have so much love to give and you give it so freely.

I want to be more like you, Makayla. I want to love without abandon. I want to meow at strangers when they ask me a question. I want to dance so freely and sing just like you.

You have been through so much this past year. Bringing home a new sister that you never met before is huge and you took it all in stride. You welcomed her with open arms and loved her from the beginning. We can all learn more from you, Makayla. You got a new kitty cat that you adore and always want to play with. He is so special to you. Seeing the way you treat him and adore him warms my heart. Moving to Texas was a huge deal, but you just went with the flow. You never got upset, never whined about any of it, nothing. You just did what you had to do and did it all seamlessly. You amaze me with your strength.

There are times where I am overrun with guilt for the things I have said to you or the things I have promised and not delivered on. But you, sweet girl, you never hold any of that against me. You wake up fresh every morning, full of love. I want to be more like you. I'm sorry for the ways I have let you down. I will never stop loving you even when I disappoint you.

You have the best memory of anyone I know. Yet you forget all of the bad things, which is perfect. You remember things that happened years ago and where we were and who else was there. It's amazing.

You are reading so much these days and seeing your sweet brain figuring things out is always awesome for me to see. You say excuse me almost every time you have something to say and your daddy and I are talking to each other. That being said, you do love to interrupt, as well. ;)

Makayla, you're six today. And all day you have been talking about how next year you will be seven. I told you you're not even six yet! I can't let it happen! I'm demanding that time stops this year. No more growing. Though I do love seeing you learn new things every day.

Your love for everyone and everything astounds me. You are perfect in every way. Don't ever change. Always be who you are. Always love yourself and don't let anyone, ever make you feel less than what you are. You are the most beautiful girl in the world and I love you with every fiber of my being.

Love always,
Mommy