I have only been back in the United States for three days.
I can't believe how much seven days in another country has changed my life. It has changed everything I have ever known. I thought our adoption changed my life...which it has, but this has magnified it about 1,000 times over. There's really no way to describe it. Every time I try to share with someone how I'm feeling, they tell me that I should focus on my family here and basically to get over it. That's just not going to happen. I am trying to focus on my family and to be present here, but I am forever changed. There's no coming back from that. There just isn't.
Even though I have only been back for three days, my parenting has changed. I'm not so nervous and anxious with my girls. They'll survive whatever, I'm sure. Seeing how children in Ethiopia just walk around by themselves and eventually get home, I know my kids can handle walking in Target without me staring at their every move. With that being said, things are safer in Ethiopia. At least that's how I feel. And from what Ethiopians have told me, it's true. People don't just take other people's kids there. It doesn't happen. So anyway I have just calmed down with my parenting and I really like it.
I also don't get so angry when they cry. They'll figure it out. And they really have nothing to be crying about.
My whole life has changed because of seven days in Ethiopia.