Struggles.

Adoption is not easy. We have to have A LOT of grace. We take the brunt of what everyone thinks about adoption and how stupid it is and why we can't help people that live in the United States first, etc., etc., etc. It really is never ending.

Honestly, I don't mind the questions so much. It's how they're worded that hurts me. The pain will never go away. The hateful comments will always be remembered.

I also don't like feeling like I don't have a voice. I wrote a post earlier on MY blog that I have since deleted. I will tell you that I got some very positive feedback from that post. But, there is always that person that can't keep their mouth shut and has to tell me how I'm wrong. Even though that's what we get most days already.

We are a fundraising family.

One day, we will go on vacation again. We still go out to eat occasionally. We live normal lives albeit, we know what it's all about. This life isn't about going on the fanciest vacation, getting the best purse or eating crazy, expensive food every day. Or even getting the best, new car.

This life is about the redeeming power of Jesus. This life is about bringing others to Him. And one way that our family has been called to do that is through adoption. We are so thankful that the Lord has called us on this journey.

It has stretched my faith beyond measure and we aren't even DTE yet!! It has made me eat my fair share of humble pie. It has given me a thicker skin, which I will wear now and forever more.

I know this journey never ends. We will be constantly berated for the rest of our lives. People will always want to know 'where our child comes from' and the questions will never cease. It's sad that there isn't more acceptance in this world.

People will always want to stick their nose where it doesn't belong and say things that are unnecessary and rude. I just need to get used to that and come to terms with it.

I say the things I say because it is how I feel. I was once ignorant and knew no better. I had no idea what was going on in Africa or other parts of the world. I didn't. But, the Lord opened my eyes and I don't even want to go back to how life used to be. I don't want to be oblivious to the fact that children are dying from starvation daily. I don't want to forget. And I will never be the same.

We sent letters out when we started this process to our friends and family. We will be applying for grants as soon as we are able. We're just waiting on that home study.

People only know a sliver of the whole story. And when you don't take the time to know the entire thing, there is a lot of ignorance that comes from that.

We have never guilted people into donating money to us. I post things on MY Facebook account, but if you don't want to read them, then please delete me. It's very simple. If you feel guilty, then I truly believe that is because YOU aren't doing anything. And I do not mean that you need to donate to our adoption. I mean, do SOMETHING. I guarantee you the guilt will cease after that moment.

There will always be starving children and there will always be more we can do. Each and every one of us is called to defend the fatherless. And there are plenty of ways to do that. Visit them. Sponsor a child. Donate to ANY adoption. Ask people how you can help.

So please, if you have something disgusting to say to me, at least have the nerve to attach your name to it. It takes a huge coward to post an awful anonymous comment on someone's blog. It really does. Hiding behind the computer screen is so cowardly.

We have been called on this journey at this very time. Yes, after we just built a brand new house. Yes, after we have two biological children that grow out of their clothes and need us to buy them new ones. Yes, while we have medical bills that still aren't paid. Yes, while we still own a home in California that we can't get rid of. Yes to all of that.

We know what we're doing and why we're doing it. And it's definitely not for you. We love the Lord and that is who we follow. We follow His will for our family's life and we will go where He calls us and at the time that He calls us. It's not up to you.

Also, check out Adam's blog on adoption and all things Dad related. It's a great glimpse into fatherhood. http://thedadguy.blogspot.com