29 June 2009


I really have nothing important to write about.

I think I might be addicted to the internet. I get on here 384374937 times a day and do nothing. Bah. Also needing to be added to my addictions? Chapstick and Dr. Pepper. And fries. Yum.

I really, really, really love old people. Like a lot. They're so cute! There was this guy on Smallville tonight (season 7) and he was adorable! I just wanted to give him a big squeeze.

Adam fell asleep while we were watching Smallville, so that's why I'm writing this.

I know four people that have had miscarriages in the last six months. FOUR. That is an unreasonably high amount.  I'm sorry if you are one of them and you are reading this, but I will not be naming names. Just know that I think it is awful, horrific, terrible and so very, very sad. My heart hurts for every single one of those women.

There is a stack of dishes in my sink that need cleaning. Also the dishwasher has clean dishes in it that are yet to be put away.

I have two loads of laundry waiting to be folded. At least it's clean right?

All the beds need new sheets put on them. 

Every single floor in my house needs swept. Or vacuumed.

We are having a barbecue at our house on the 4th of July. Maybe I should start cleaning? I cleaned all the bathrooms last week, though, so that's a start!

I love fellowshipping with other believers. It makes my heart happy. I'm also glad that I know so many more people at my amazing church now than I did just six months ago. I am so happy that people are there for me.

I love feeling needed. It makes me feel really good and that I actually have a purpose. I also love when little kids remember me. There was this little girl, Eva, that I had in my VBS group and I saw her this morning at church and she said, 'Lindsey!!' when she was me. It was so sweet. I love her!!!!

I bought these glue dot things to scrapbook with. Instead of using regular glue, which is time consuming and way messy. I have yet to use them. I really do want to scrapbook, but I seem to get sucked into the vortex of Facebook or blog reading or just nothingness on the internet. I honestly do not know what I do on here all the time. Just recently have I actually started writing lots of blogs. Weird.

I really want to use my time better, but I just don't. I'm such a slacker. Some days I hate that. Others I don't care so much.

Tomorrow, Makayla and I are going to meet her babysitter for when I start going to school.

Speaking of school I am so excited to start! I can't wait until August! Maybe I should get some of my projects out of the way now, huh? I really need to print out some pictures for scrapbooking...maybe I'll add that to the never ending to-do list.

We had someone come out and look at the fireplace last week. It's gonna be about $800 to get it fixed. Yikes! Oh well, it'll be worth it, I do believe.

It has been unrealistically hot out here this past week. Adam's air conditioning in his car broke, so that really sucks, since he has to drive to Vallejo and home again for work. Boo. Also I've had to drive his car a few times and it blows. My face seriously felt like it was melting today. Not cool.

Sometimes I type faster than my brain (and my fingers) can actually function and I don't type a letter until the middle of the word. Or I type the word backwards. And I even sometimes don't catch the mistakes until the entire word is already typed. That one sucks because I always have to go back and delete the whole word and start over again.

I'm looking at patio furniture sets and bistro sets as we speak. It was on my to-do list that was in my head. I have finally emailed that list to myself so I'll stop forgetting what's on it. There are so many things that I feel are important and there are even more things that I want to do before we start growing another baby. It might sound crazy, but I really want almost, if not all, of my projects completed before baby #2 is even growing inside me. Is that weird? Oh well, I love being organized and ready. I know some/most things are out of my control, but I love to try! Like I want to put all of M's videos from her first year (and beyond!) on a DVD for myself. And family. Also, I have to make a disc of all the events that one of my friends was ever at that I've got pictures from. He's been asking for it for a very long time, so I really should get on it.

I am going to have to postpone potty training. Makayla and I are planning a trip to Pennsylvania to visit my extended family (sorry if you don't know yet and you're reading this!) and I do not want to have to worry about her crapping in her pants on the plane and taking her to pee in the plane, etc. etc. I know that will be an issue later in life, but I'm hoping by then, she can just tell me when she needs to go and I don't have to worry about if she's going to use up her last pair of undies I brought, ya know? I've decided I am still going to introduce the potty, but we won't go over to cotton training pants until we are back from our trip. It's going to be a little difficult because she'll be with a sitter for 2 hours 3 days out of the week, but that's not too long, and the woman is okay with it, so that's good, too.

It takes me at least half an hour to fall asleep at night. I think most of that is because I'm thinking of things I want to blog about, things I have to do tomorrow or things I didn't get done today. It's an awful trait, but it's something I can't help. Adam tells me I should leave a notebook right next to my side of the bed and write things down as they come to me. I tried it before, but then I have to get up, turn on the light, blah blah blah. It's a lot more work than it seems like it should be!

I haven't kept up with writing in Makayla's baby book like I wanted to. I wrote down almost everything from her first year of life, but now pretty much everything is in this here blog. I also started a journal for her before she was born, but I think the last time I wrote in it was when she was 11 months old? Sad, I know. But, hey we do what we can, right?

I feel so guilty about so many things in this motherhood gig. It's terrible! I feel guilty about not writing more for Makayla to read. I feel guilty for not taking her more places and not doing more with her. I feel guilty about how I do certain things, what types of food she eats. The list goes on and on and on and on....

I've got a stack of books that I need/want to read. I don't feel like it's a chore or anything, but it's always looming over my head...just one more thing to do. And yet, still, here I am. On the computer. I really should start using my time more wisely.

I still need to get those magazine articles organized, too. They're still sitting on my dresser.

Most of the things that I need or want to do can't really be done while Makayla is awake. Like the magazine article organizing. She likes to grab all the papers and throw them around or crinkle them or whatever. She also likes a lot of attention and I am okay with that. Now don't get me wrong here, I do not just sit on the floor all day long and entertain her. She plays with her toys a lot and does things by herself for a lot of the day, but then there comes that mommy guilt again! And I feel bad if I'm sitting at the dining room table working on something and she just wants me to play with her. So I play with her. She won't be this little forever!

I just finished reading this book called You're A Good Mom (And Your Kids Aren't So Bad Either). I liked it. It was just a funny/cute book about how to balance between being a slacker mom and a super mom. I love reading mommy books like that. In fact I just got another one in the mail the other day and I'm waiting on another one to be delivered this week, as well. Add them to the pile! :)

I love that we don't have a house phone. And I love that we don't have DVR. At first I was really sad that we got rid of it(DVR), but I'm pretty glad we don't have it now. I used to just record shows all the time because I couldn't watch them while they were on, but it was stuff that I wouldn't normally watch. It just looked interesting, ya know? One thing I do miss though is the guide. I never know when any good stuff is on! And our channels are all jacked up, so it's hard to maneuver around the remote. HAHA!

My new goal for working out is to do it after Makayla goes to bed for the night. I used to do it while she napped (during the first nap), but then I had to cram that and a shower and relaxing into less than an hour. Too much. So now I want to do the 20 minute DVD I got right after she goes to bed, take a shower and then chill with Adam until we go to bed. Which for me is usually after 11pm. Adam normally hits the hay by 10pm, sometimes earlier. There's just something about night time that makes me come alive. I am always more productive in the evenings. I think a lot of it is because I know Makayla isn't going to wake up and interrupt whatever it is that I'm doing and while she's napping, I have no idea how long she is actually going to be napping for.

Our air conditioner just turned off right now for the first time in 6 hours. That's how hot it's been. Wowzers. And my legs are freezing.

I've got some stuff to return at Target and I can't find the receipt. I hate that! I have all of my receipts in one special place. They even have their own container! But it always seems like when I actually need one, it's not there! How does that work?? I am so organized yet it somehow always seems to fail me. Lame.

I am so tired right now, but I know it'll just take me forever to fall asleep, so I'm prolonging the inevitable. And I have a headache. Tylenol PM is calling my name this evening...and I'm going to answer the call.

This post is all over the place, but this is all seriously what I'm thinking about right now. It's a lot, I know. That's why I'm always under so much stress.

No comments: