Anyway, every morning when I wake up, I feel so exhausted. Maybe it's because Makayla has been waking up before 7 for the last week and a half. Maybe it's because I haven't been drinking as much pop as I normally do. We stopped buying Dr. Pepper to keep in the house. I'm working on it, I really am. Maybe it's because I go to bed at 10pm, which isn't all that late, but I'm pretty sure I lay in bed until at least 11pm because my body rocks like that. No matter what it is, I'm always tired. Maybe it's because I'm too fat.
I'm working on it. All of it. I have been working out. I just really need the motivation. I thought I'd get the motivation from wanting to have another baby, but not wanting to be this fat while having another baby. Well, that's not working out so hot for me, either. I'm trying. I am so trying. But not hard enough, I guess. I don't ever really want to cook food, either. I dunno. I'm in a funk.
And just today, I have been feeling like I have nothing to look forward to. Our (me and M) days are always the same. Always. Every day. We don't do anything. But in reality, I do have some things to look forward to. My dad is coming out here on the 22nd for 9 days, so that's going to be really fun. This weekend, we are going to Monterey as a family. I am totally stoked about that! In June, I am taking M to a gymnastics class every Wednesday morning and then in August, I will be going back to college! So you see, there are things for me to look forward to. But alas, there is nothing happening right now. Ya feel me? I need/want something to do every single day. A reason to shower, if you will. I constantly feel bad for not taking Makayla to more places, but I feel so confined by her schedule that I feel like I can't do anything. I limit myself a lot, I know that.