12 June 2008

This isn't happening.

I'm really s-t-r-e-s-s-e-d.  Stressed.

I'm so stressed right now, I might go crazy. Thank the Lord Makayla is taking a nap right now, or else I'd probably really fly off the handle. She is a good baby, really, she is. But, sometimes, I'm about to go nuts with her.

Went to lunch at BJ's with Janet today. I'm pretty sure we probably said all of two words to each other. Of course, our lives are much more complicated now than they used to be back in the day. She's got 4 kids that are with her always and I've got 1 screaming baby. It's fun. You should try it. 

I'm not bitter, really. 

On top of the lovely lunch date where I didn't even get to talk to my friend, we're still on the prowl for a house. We're putting it in God's hands, but I'm still stressing about it. We're going to look on Saturday....again. 

And I still think Makayla's teething, but I really still have no clue. She's mad almost all the time and she's crying a lot more often. Adam and I have been getting flashbacks of how life used to be when she first came into our lives. It's not particularly something I want to relive. 

Oh yeah and almost every day, I feel like a bad mother. It blows. All these other moms are so perfect and I fail in comparison to them. They have the most wonderful babies and the perfect house and the perfect life...blah blah blah blah blah blah. I don't care. Get real with yourself. Sometimes your kid cries. It's inevitable. He or she is not perfect. I know you want to think that, but they're not.

Again. Not bitter.

Really. I'm not.
But, I'm pissed. 

I'm going to sit here and enjoy this peace and quiet because it won't last long.

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